Product Review: Caveman Bakery Alpine Caveman Cookies

Caveman Bakery Apline Caveman Cookies
Caveman Bakery Apline Caveman Cookies

Product: Caveman Bakery Apline Caveman Cookies – $6.29+

Can cookies really be made the caveman way?  Can paleo really go that far?

Ah, that new fad that so many people are jumping onto.  Eat like a caveman, and reap the wonderful health benefits.  While I find nothing wrong with cutting out refined sugars and processed grains…I go back and forth on the whole “eat like a caveman” thing.  I mean…not being able to eat beans…or corn…due to sugar content or something.  Nope.  Not a fan.

However…paleo items are gluten-free.  And when something hits the market that I’ve never seen before…my friend Jenn usually supplies me with a box.  God love her!  Well, I have previously tried and was not thrilled with the Tropical version of these cookies.  Jenn assured me via a Twitter account that, surprisingly, the Alpine were better.

Well, it’s moment of truth week because I have no dessert on hand and these are in my pantry.  Out came the box of Caveman Bakery Alpine Caveman Cookies.

Much like the Tropical variety of these cookies, these come individually wrapped inside the box.  They are little flat cookies, slightly sticky as you remove them from the wrapper…probably the honey…no…definitely the honey.  They smelled good.  They looked deceivingly chocolatey.  Would they be better than the very bland and disappointing Tropical flavor?  Was it possible?

Kinda…I guess.

Here’s the thing.  These cookies are chewy.  Not like…soft…fresh out of the oven chewy.  Not even processed cookies that are made to be soft and chewy chewy.  Nope.  These are just…chewy.  Like…not quite gum…but almost…chewy.  Which, we all know I prefer a chewy cookie to a crunchy one (although I will eat both and do so happily and without any measure of guilt!), but these…these are just too chewy.  Yes…a cookie that is too chewy for me.

As for taste…Jenn was right.  These actually do taste better than the Tropical variety.  The Alpine Caveman Cookies have a hint of chocolate flavor.  But it’s very mild and almost…not there.  The honey really sort of stands out the most.  I took a bite, tugging the very chewy cookie back and tried to savor it…find that flavor…find that chocolate flavor that I was craving.  Only a hint.  But…it was enough to cleanse the palate.

I guess.

I still wasn’t impressed.  Strike two Caveman Bakery.

Sad, because I love what goes into these cookies.  You want to talk about clean eating…these cookies are made from what Caveman Bakery says are ingredients that cavemen could have found while hiking in the alps.  These cookies are simply made from honey, hazelnut meal, almond meal, and toasted carob seeds.  They are gluten-free, dairy-free, and cholesterol free.

As for the nutritional aspect of these cookies…a serving size of the Caveman Bakery Alpine Caveman Cookies is 2 cookies.  Yep.  Two.  Get those jaws loosened up, folks!  This serving will provide you with 150 calories and 9 grams of fat.  Most of that fat is from the use of the nuts (hazelnuts and almonds), so that is at least the healthy kind of fat.  These two cookies contain 0 mg sodium, but 14 whopping grams of sugar.  YIKES!!  Okay…so it’s from the honey and carob but…YIKES!  Okay…they are cookies.  I’ll give them that.  But still.  And finally, you will have 2 grams of fiber and 3 grams of protein.  Let’s hear it for meals made from nuts!

I don’t know…I understand the concept.  I get that it’s considered a better way of eating.  But I think these cookies are not what the cavemen had in mind when they thought about polishing off their saber tooth tiger consommé and needed to cleanse their palate.  Perhaps some wild berries or nuts would have been sufficient.

While these cookies aren’t awful, they definitely didn’t do anything for me.  Therefore, once the package is gone…it will be the last of the Caveman Cookies in my home.  Kind of pricey for a product that didn’t wow me.  Not one bit.

But, I think my jaw got the workout of a lifetime.

2 Replies to “Product Review: Caveman Bakery Alpine Caveman Cookies”

  1. I actually got a date-like taste with the first bite…and I was kinda “Meh…dunno about these…”, but they grew on me to “Okay”. Disappointed in these too; but I think my track record is pretty good. LOL!

    1. I couldn’t agree more. They did remind me of Larabars actually. You’re right. Next up…those lemon cookies. THOSE…have to be delicious. Mmmm…lemon. Mmmm…cookies.

      I love when you give me products to try. Being a guinea pig is fun.

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