Dear readers…both new and old…
I am sorry.
I am sorry that I have let this blog get away from me. Life…has been crazy. Insane. Busy. To the point that I literally have no time to do things for myself these days. To sum it up…I’m running in circles most days.
I get up early…I do my stretches/exercises that my physical therapist assigned me back in January when I had the paralyzed hip flexor. Yep. I’m still doing them. Do I need to? Probably not. But…guess what…
I HAVEN’T BEEN INJURED.
Therefore…I keep doing them. And that does sometimes mean I go to bed around 8 p.m. to get up at 2 a.m. so I can fit in a 6 mile run before I start the rest of my day. Because before I run…these stretches/exercises must be done to loosen up my muscles and get this broken body primed and ready to go. I do my workout…I go to work…I come home…I cook dinner…I do my PT exercises/stretches at night…I foam roll…I go to bed.
No ME time. No computer time. No blogging time.
It’s actually kind of draining.
But this is where it needs to stop. I have some exciting things coming down the pike and I need to be sure that I am open and share them with you! I need to find a better way to manage my time so that I can have the time I need to connect with people here…on this blog that I set up for that sole purpose.
I mean, I am an athlete with Celiac. I am a self-made chef with Celiac. I want to share my struggles, my recipes, my races, my training, my daily battle with food and this disease that sometimes makes it impossible to have a healthy relationship with food (and sometimes exercise) at all. (I won’t get into details…but if you know, then you know). And the simple fact that the stressful life I’ve been living these past two years has left me all…
I wish I could say I was joking. *sigh*
It’s a daily struggle…to have BODY KINDNESS when I feel I have done everything possible to get in a better place with my body. Two years off with injuries and I’m staring at little bulges where I never had them before. And it’s hard for me, when my Timehop throws pictures of me back when I had defined abs…or my friends are hitting up the next diet craze, exercising 2-3 times a day, cleansing, or talking about how easy it is for them to lose weight. And here I am, trying to be all love myself the way I am and feeling every bit of this…
But I’m working on it. But this is exactly WHY I need this blog. I’ve been so out of touch. And comments from you, my dear friends, help keep me inspired, and pushing to be better and to not give up or give in. THIS is what I have been lacking.
This marks the first week of my official training for the Chicago Marathon. Ahead are 16 weeks of some easy, some intense, and some very long runs. In the summer heat. I want this body to be ready for it. I’ve changed up my diet some lately…which I think is a good place to start. And while there really hasn’t been a drastic change, yet, I think I’m going to be in a good place, nutrition-wise, for this undertaking. Besides, I’ve given up my daily M&M habit. Seriously. One entire month…without handfuls of M&Ms throughout the day. I actually feel free. It’s really liberating. I don’t even feel like I need them anymore.
This is a good start.
So…marathon training is back on. This is the only marathon I am running this year and, with any luck, I’ll get through this summer of training without any injuries. Why do Chicago again? I feel like I’m starting over from scratch…and Chicago was my first marathon. It’s the 40th Anniversary. And I qualified to run, and skip the lottery draw. So, why not Chicago? I will aim to do my weekly updates as I did the first time I ran a marathon…read them if you care to. I’ll slip in little nuggets of goodness…like recipes I’ve tried or created and so on.
While my coach and I have talked goals, in my head, my biggest (and the most important) goal is simply to finish. And to feel good (as good as someone can) after crossing that finish line 26.2 miles later. Sometimes set paces freak me out. I usually get injured when speed is involved. So, pushing beyond what I think I’m capable of is my biggest challenge, and one I have not figured out how to conquer yet. Those negative voices in my head, about my running, my weight, whatever it is…they are very hard to quiet sometimes.
Two years of pretty serious injuries will do that to you.
My body has a lot of catching up to do. My mind has even more. But…marathon training does instill a lot of discipline. And I’m hoping it will carry over into other aspects of my life.
In addition to all of this, I am very happy to report that my social life has all but picked up. So many new friends!! Between going to Louisville City FC soccer matches, out for Indian food with friends, having friends over for dinner (yep…I cook) and wine…to hanging out at friend’s homes for the evening and meeting more new people, I’m loving this new active social life. I’ve sort of lived as a hermit for way too long. Surrounding myself with people who lift me up and make me laugh is very important to me. And I’m loving filling up my calendar with more than just my mileage for that day. And there are quite a few of you who I need to either have over or catch dinner with. Hit me up…we need to make this happen.
So, apologies to readers old and new…for the hiatus and filling this blog with simple race reports and ignoring the stuff that got me started on this blog in the first place. It’s time to refocus and reestablish myself in the blogosphere. I’m happy to have you with me for the journey. Hang on tight. Nothing is ever easy with me…so expect a bumpy, emotional, but encouraging, maybe even inspiring ride.