Be Good To You

justfoodI’m not the average girl from your video
And I ain’t built like a supermodel
But I learned to love myself unconditionally
Because I am a queen

~India.Arie

It’s been a hard journey for me the past couple of years, but I think I’m finally headed in the right direction.  But before I go any further, I want to give a HUGE shout-out to my amazing friend, Kari…who watched a few of my stories on Instagram back in the summer and sent me directly to a few podcasts and links…and that has been helped me out immensely…especially during this time of year.

Through Kari, I discovered Rebecca Scritchfield, RDN, a registered dietitian nutritionist, well-being coach, and a certified health and fitness specialist.  And from Scritchfield…I have discovered the practice of Body Kindness.

Over the summer and through the fall, I have done my best to put the practices of spiraling up and self-compassion to work.  And I’ve made leaps and bounds in this regard.  I’m proud of myself.  After two years of consistent injuries that, basically, kept me from really being active, I put on a good 15 to 20 pounds.  And those pounds weren’t from eating a poor diet…not at all.  My food choices go up on Instagram on a daily basis and I keep nothing from it.  But the lack of exercise brought about a good amount of stress…which brought about bouts of binge eating/stress eating.  Every.  Day.  To the point that certain foods in the apartment had to be hidden in my roommate’s room just to ensure that I wouldn’t devour them one morning when I was the only one awake and stressing out over something that I really coudn’t fix at that moment or at all.  I felt uncomfortable in my skin, and while I was still at what would be considered a healthy weight for my size…I was SO mad at myself for letting myself get like this.  I was angry every time I would get on the scale and see the number.  I was so certain that, when I was cleared to run, the weight would slow me down.

Over those months, I did get back to running…and the weight stayed on.  No big deal.  I’m not someone who runs to burn calories.  I’ve never been someone who tries to compensate food intake for exercise and burning off calories.  I don’t do calculations in my head or add on miles or hit the gym a little harder.  That’s not me.  That’s never been me.  So, in that respect, I already was grasping the overarching concept of Body Kindness.

But what really makes it challenging for someone like me…is seeing perfectly healthy people who are in the same boat as me…jump into a program like Weight Watchers to drop weight by a certain date.  Hell, I was told to look into Weight Watchers…and I’m at a healthy weight…just not a happy weight (to me).  And at the same time, I had a friend who went to the extreme side of the spectrum and wasn’t eating and was over-exercising and was down to just skin and bones…and it was scary.  And it was perspective.  And thankfully, she is getting help and will hopefully get stronger physically and mentally through her recovery program.  But it was a lot of stress and anguish because…I love my friends deeply and when they go through shit…I go through shit with them.  And I was thankful that I had been introduced to this concept of Body Kindness and Intuitive Eating…because that could have spiraled out of control quickly.  And that’s not to say that the stress and those triggers didn’t get to me…but the way I dealt with it changed.

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Enter…the holidays.

I work in an office packed with women.  And the holidays are made for feasting and treats and parties and drinks and…the inevitable conversations happen at the water cooler…

“I ate one of those donuts today…I am so bad.”

“I’m being SO bad!” *said while balancing a plate with a cinnamon roll on it*

*At holiday pitch-in* “I had lost weight, but I’ve been so bad today and I know I put it all back on!”

“Look at all this bad food.  Brownies, cookies, cakes…”

“Well, this has fruit in it, so that’s good, right?”

“All that food in there…I really need to go back to dieting tomorrow.”

“I feel so guilty…I had dessert after eating my holiday meal.”

I wish I could say I was joking.  But, sadly, I’m not.  With the advent of the holidays comes the inevitable around the New Year…the resolutions.

But it’s not just the, “I’m going to eat better and workout more,” mentality anymore.  Nope.  Now we have detoxes and juice cleanses and diet pills and fasting and keto and paleo and Whole 30…or meals that are just snacks and not providing you with the nutrition your body really needs to function.  But let’s face it…diets don’t work.  They don’t.  If they did…there wouldn’t be multi-million dollar corporations built up around them.  I mean, think about it…the reason they exist is because people have to keep going back to them.  Mind…blown!

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Diets and “quick fixes” are everywhere.  But are they really that “good” for you?  Diets, cleanses, detoxes…what they advocate is a huge calorie deficit.  Most people don’t even hit the “standard” (and still low, especially if you’re active) 1200 a day.  If you’re active…you HAVE to eat more.  And I’ve had it out with people before regarding calories in vs. calories out…and I was told that I wasn’t losing weight because I was eating more than 1200 calories a day.  Yeah…I also ran 10 miles and need to put nutrition back into my body!  But the way it was done made it seem like I was in the wrong because I refused to be super restrictive.  When I am training for an endurance race, I make sure my body is fed properly after any hard effort.  It’s how it recovers faster and gets stronger.  Diets, detoxes, and juice cleanses…yeah…you lose weight.  You lose water weight.  You lose fat.  But you also start losing muscle mass.  And I’m a runner.  I don’t want to lose muscle.  Muscle is what helps this body move faster, get stronger, and hopefully…not get injured as often.  No matter what the person who created this meal plan and ran this group said to me…I wasn’t going to waiver on the type of nutrition that I needed to do the activities that I am doing.  BUT…she did this in a public forum and made me feel like a failure or that I was doing everything wrong.

I’ve witnessed first hand the effects of starving the body of nutrition and recovery…watching someone I really care for waste away from over exercising and under fueling.  If she did eat, she’d figure up how many hot yoga classes she’d need to do or how many extra miles she would need to run simply to negate the meager amount of food she did give her body.  Not fueling enough does horrible things to your body.  Especially when you’re active.  But even those of us who aren’t runners or cyclists or gym rats…your body needs fuel regardless and when you’re operating on an empty tank…it turns to other means to get the energy it means to function.  Fat…and then muscle.  And, guess what…the heart is a muscle and eventually, that’s going to stop working properly too.

I am the first to admit that I do get triggered by certain aspects of the diet culture.  Even today, as I’m comfortably settling into the idea of Body Kindness.  I literally want to throw things when someone makes a reference to their paleo/keto dessert.  Or the person who went vegan to lose weight and was disappointed when they didn’t.  Or the diet pills someone is taking because it helps make them less hungry during the day.  Or those “progress” pics that people put up that pretty much shame everyone who has put on even a pound because we’re not standing there in a sports bra with a smaller tummy or abs of steel.  Or when people eat a handful of almonds and call it lunch.  Or when someone says that they need to go to the gym because of what they ate the day before.  The words “juice cleanse,” “cleanse,” “detox,” and “diet”…they all set off alarm bells in my head.  Because, this “healthy” person is doing all this on Instagram…shouldn’t I too.  And maybe if I did…I could be that skinny and strong and…whatever.

But…I’m not that person.  And it took me the better part of the year to get to this point.  And to say that none of this triggers me at any point would be a lie.  I’m a perfectionist in my own right, and not feeling perfectly healthy or perfectly athletic has been challenging.  But…here’s my takeaway…

Four years ago…and 20 pounds lighter, I ran a race on Thanksgiving that I run every year.  I was at the peak of my running and the fittest I had ever felt.  And I ran 5 miles in 36:52.  I never cracked it since 2013…sometimes that race having me around 38 minutes.  This year…with 2 years of hip injuries and 15-20 pounds more on me…I ran comfortably for the entire race, never feeling like I was pushing myself to go faster and I finished…in 36:36.  I wasn’t dieting or fighting the scale.  I was giving myself permission to eat better, more, and what my body needed as I was also in the midst of a marathon build-up too.  So…lighter doesn’t necessarily mean faster.  And faster doesn’t necessarily come because you follow a strict diet.  Hard work is what gets you there.

And trust me…there is nothing easy about learning to love yourself the way you are.  And there is nothing wrong with wanting to improve yourself.  But, just for a moment, take a breath and forget about your clothing size and that number on a scale.  Forget about seeing yourself fitting in with the social norm.  That’s the great thing about being a human being.  We’re all different.  Perfectly imperfect.  And we don’t have to miss out on experiences and treats and foods because we’re told by society what is “good” and what is “bad.”

This journey hasn’t been easy and, yes…I still struggle.  Even today I struggle, especially with the “perfect squares” of those “perfect people” in social media.  I struggle when I hear someone say they are being bad when they are just taking part in a holiday part or pitch-in.  I hate hearing people tell me how much cardio they’re going to have to do the following day because they enjoyed a bit of dessert after their holiday meal.  Guess what…it’s okay to indulge…in life, in food, in activities.  It’s not okay to paralyze yourself and to stop living a full and happy life because of what the scale might tell you in the morning.  Your self worth is not built upon what you are eating and how much of it you are consuming.

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And I promise…it’s impossible to gain 3 pounds in one day…and it’s water weight…and it too shall pass.

So…how about this holiday season we share a bit of kindness with others, but also take a moment to spare some of that kindness for ourselves.  Don’t stress the small things.  Don’t miss out on something due to social stigmas and labels.  Enjoy every moment and every bite and every bit of movement you manage that day, that week, that month.

Magic happens when we are not just compassionate, but also self-compassionate.  So take a deep breath, and enjoy the foods and activities and moments that come with the season.  It will lower your stress…it will brighten your mood…and in the end…you’ll feel better.

Here’s what I have gained since turning my back on the diet culture…late night sushi runs with friends…wine tastings with friends…dinner parties with friends…game nights, brunches, dinners, new ethnic food outings, movie nights, fun runs, vacation planning with friends, so many more invites…so much more quality time with people…bonding…laughing…joy.  My life gained so much joy and shed so much unhappiness and stress and feeling self-conscious and unworthy.  What I was gaining was way more important than what I had been trying to lose.

I really started living and being and enjoying the little things as well as the big things.  There are always bumps and setbacks.  I’m not 100% yet.  But I’m clearing a path and have gained so much mental health in the process that it’s really become physical heath as well.  I’m not saying I don’t stress and cry and feel upset and out of control and lost…I do.  But I have outlets and I have people who carry me through it and lift me up and don’t make me feel like I’m failing at everything.  I’m a beautiful work in progress.

And that’s truly what makes the journey epic in the end.

Be happy.  Life life.  Do epic shit.  Be full.  And be well.

thereitis

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CTRL + ALT + DEL: Start Fresh

UGH!  I have started three blogs in the past couple of weeks, which I have since gone and deleted because they were no longer relevant.  MEH!!  Kinda sucks when you put some hard work into starting something and just don’t have the time or energy to get back to it.

Welcome to my life as of late…

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I’m trying desperately to reach a bigger audience both here on my blog and on my most frequented form of social media…Instagram.  Really, I am an athlete that deals, daily, with Celiac Disease…and I’m working really hard on branching out on the blog…maybe in podcast form…and on Instagram to cover some of the trials and tribulations of this.

But I need more help.  So, if you could help me out a little…directing people to my blog and my Instagram (and if you aren’t following me…please…give me a little click and follow along)…I will love you forever!

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Okay…so let’s do some quick catching up, shall we?  What in the world have I been up to since…October 20th, when I blogged about setting and reaching goals?  Well…a LOT!

First of all, the great apartment repaint, reorganize, and redecorate has commenced.  The two bathrooms, the kitchen, and HALF of the living room are DONE!  As far as painting goes.  The decorating is taking a bit more time, because I’m totally OCD and need to measure everything I hang up to make sure it’s centered and perfect on the wall.  But…progress!

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I am not a fan of painting.  It is tedious and tiring work…but I love the way the apartment is starting to look.  After eight years of living there, the apartment definitely needed a touch-up.  And being able to finally redo some of the wall hangings has been a nice change too.

For the 4th (I think this was the 4th year) year in a row,  my roommate (Cathy), her sister (Amanda) and I went to the Jack-O-Lantern Spectacular at Iroquois Park in Louisville, KY!  We always make a night of out this, starting with dinner (we got sushi – mine was vegan), a hot beverage (usually apple cider or tea) from Highland Coffee, and then, Mr. G’s Kettle Corn while we stand in line to walk the half mile path and gaze in awe at all the amazing pumpkins. Seriously…this was AMAZING.  It always is, but the theme this year was A to Z and they did a fantastic job with all the pumpkins.

On October 26, I went to the University of Louisville Comstock Hall and got to listen to the iconic Kathrine Switzer speak.  She was so empowering and totally made me want to do ALL THE THINGS.  I was just so wrapped up in her talk about her life and how she got into running and how the Boston Marathon incident came around and WHY this was so life changing.  I was hoping there would be a photo-op afterwards, and there was.  I had brought my Disney Wine & Dine bib, Bib #261, which I received in 2014, just after I met her at the NYC Marathon Expo the year I ran it.  I told her the story and she was just so freakin excited.  She even got a picture of the two of us with our 261 bibs on her iPhone.

She signed my bib “Karen – You are awesome and fearless.”  I thought I was lucky to have met in her NYC 3 years ago…but I just got to meet her again…AND had a fun story to tell her.  She might be my new running BFF.  If nothing else, she is someone who has always and will always inspire me.  After going to her talk, I just wanted to make SO many changes in my life…seek out things that really make me happy…

HENCE…wanting to do more with my blog and social media.  So…again…if you could give a like and follow here and on Instagram…and tell your friends…let’s do this thing.

Dreams need to come true!

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And I’ve been dreaming about this for a long time.  And so often stuff just gets crazy and things I enjoy…like blogging, writing, cooking, eating, running, etc…sort of get pushed to the background.  NOT THIS TIME!

In addition to this…I’ve been enjoying watching Louisville City FC climb the ladder to reach the Eastern Conference Finals for the THIRD TIME in as many seasons as they have been around.  YAY!

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Granted…last week I was pretty much frozen and the boys didn’t score until after Half Time.  I had been hoping to keep warm by constantly jumping out of my seat.  That being said…this is always as far as we get in the finals.  And I want us to go on to the championship…and WIN IT!  And the weather this Saturday looks to be warmer and much more enjoyable than LAST Saturday.  I even stayed up late to drink hot tea to thaw out afterwards it was that cold.  But the win was worth it.

Here’s to another one…if the soccer gods shine upon us!

Halloween came and went…in the blink of an eye.  I wasn’t scheduled to do a run on Tuesday, but I was heading to the gym for some strength training.  I dressed as Wonder Woman.  I think it inspired me to lift heavier and more.  But, damn…look at my arms these days!

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So, yeah…training is still happening.  I’ve cut back on cardio by a lot when it comes to time at the gym, usually hopping on a machine for 10 minutes to warm up and 10 minutes to cool down…and then I do one day of arms/abs and one day of legs/core.  My running has been progressing.  My hips hardly twinge at me unless the weather is cold or I sit too long.  So, the strength training is paying off (not just in giving me amazing muscles to flex).  I am currently using a run/walk method and hope to get back to a solid run in the very near future, but this is working and, honestly, hasn’t really slowed me down all that much with the short walk breaks in between efforts.  So…YAY!  And, thankfully, I have found one friend who is willing to train with me this way and doesn’t complain or mind.  WINNING!  Long runs are much more enjoyable with someone.  And someone who doesn’t mind the starts and stops in my current training method is even better.  There aren’t a lot of people who are willing to train that way or want to train that way.  So, I count myself lucky.

I have a few recipes that I will add to the blog this week…if not tonight/today.  I’ve been having a great time experimenting in my kitchen with all the winter squash and seasonal foods that are showing up in grocery stores.  I buy that stuff up like it’s going out of season.  And it’s not.  The season is just starting!  Grocery shopping is always an adventure when I decide to get all chefy and creative in the kitchen.

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That’s pretty much it for right now though.  Trying to really do better for myself and I am really trying to make some waves in the Celiac and running communities. So…watch this space.  Get others to watch this space.  And I post DAILY on Instagram, so, for one last plug…make sure you follow me over there.

Follow along with my progress…because there will be as many ups as downs, I’m sure.  But if there is one thing I have learned from all of this over the past couple of years…is that I am stronger than my situation.  And I learn and grow from every obstacle.  Grow with me!

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Be a GOAL Digger!

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Okay, my friends…let’s talk for a minute about GOALS

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No…not those kind of goals (but, please note that is my professional team there…Louisville City FC…heading to the USL Playoff Quarterfinals tonight against Bethlehem Steel).

Let’s talk about the importance of having GOALS in your life.

We all know that I’m a “run for fun” kind of girl.  This doesn’t mean that I don’t set expectations for myself…but I make it a GOAL to not let it take the fun out of the actual run itself.  Too many times I get wrapped up in people’s expectations of me and end up raising my own expectations and I normally end up performing substandard and getting upset with how everything came undone in the end.

Let’s face it…I don’t talk about GOALS very often.  And here’s the reason why…people can be hurtful.  GOALS are dreams and sometimes people aren’t very supportive of specific goals that you might set yourself.  Not even necessarily in running, but in life in general.  So, I admit…unless I really trust you…I normally don’t talk much about GOALS that I’m making for myself.

In the past year, however, I have watched many of my GOALS fall to the wayside.  I overreach…I cast doubt on myself and abilities…or whatever reasons…too often this year I’ve taken a backseat to myself and the expectations I have for me.  And that’s not right.

They say that GOALS ARE DREAMS WITH DEADLINES.  I have a Bachelors Degree in Journalism…so I know a thing or two about deadlines.  But when it comes to dreams…when it comes to these GOALS…don’t forget to give yourself TIME.  Why rush?  The great thing about dreams is they motivate, inspire, and keep you striving to push further and harder in order to achieve whatever it is that you have set out to accomplish.

How do you achieve GOALS without burning out?  Well, there is actually a system that was created to help you set and work towards your GOAL and help you outline your way of reaching them in the near or distant future.  Hey…that timeline is all you, my friend.  This process….is called:

Yep…S.M.A.R.T. GOALS!  Isn’t that clever?  I love it.  And what this process does is it makes you really identify your GOAL and set out an action plan to help you discover whether this goal is achievable and valuable to you.  Let’s take a look at each component, shall we?

S: SPECIFIC – Ask yourself: WHAT do I want to accomplish & WHY do I want to accomplish this? What are the REQUIREMENTS?  What are the CONSTRAINTS?

M: MEASURABLE – Ask yourself: HOW will I measure my PROGRESS?  HOW will I know when the GOAL is ACCOMPLISHED?

A: ATTAINABLE – Ask yourself: HOW can the GOAL be ACCOMPLISHED? WHAT are the LOGICAL STEPS I can take?

R: RELEVANT – Ask yourself: Is this a WORTHWHILE GOAL?  Is this the right TIME?  Do I have the necessary RESOURCES to ACCOMPLISH this GOAL?  Does this GOAL line up with my SHORT-TERM and LONG-TERM OBJECTIVES?

T: TIME BASED – Ask yourself: HOW LONG will it take me to ACCOMPLISH this GOAL?  What is the DATE I have SET to meet this GOAL?  WHEN and HOW OFTEN am I going to work on meeting and completing this GOAL?

So, let’s look at this from my perspective.  Back in 2015…I was all set to go and run the Boston Marathon.  I qualified for it at my first marathon and trained hard to get there.  February 2015 hits and I’m suddenly finding myself unable to run without deep pain in my hip.  Months of physical therapy and not really being able to pinpoint the problem…an MRI comes back with the diagnosis: Torn Hip Labrum.  I was devastated.  With only DAYS before I left for Boston to run, my doctor said I could attempt the marathon as I wouldn’t cause any further damage.  I was given a Cortisone shot and sent on my way…to what turned out to be one of the worst (both in experience…not the race itself…but my body hurting so bad and time (over 5 hours).  This marathon broke me mentally and physically.  And, since recovering, I managed to run/walk the Kauai Marathon…but have been fighting injuries and mental blocks ever since.  My GOAL….might be: I WILL QUALIFY TO RUN THE BOSTON MARATHON AGAIN. From there, using the S.M.A.R.T. method, I could lay out my plan of action and work on what races I might consider running to get me the necessary qualifying time (with bonus minutes as it seems to get harder and harder each year to HIT that qualifying time).

OR…it could be that I want to take a year to focus on shorter distances…master and PR in the 5K, 10K and Half Marathon before returning to marathon running.  And then, I would use that S.M.A.R.T. process to breakdown the how’s, the why’s and the when’s for this particular GOAL.
I actually have a few expectations in my head lined up for the coming year.  My hip continues to get stronger since it went all loopy again back in August.  MEH.  Really getting tired of that.  I think I started a big rant on why I’m no longer in physical therapy for this in another blog that is sitting unpublished because I just didn’t have time to go back to it.  And once that inspiration is gone…it’s gone.

The point is…be brave in what you actively pursue.  Your dreams should be big.  They should scare you a little.  They should seem unattainable…but still within reach.

Realize that there will be setbacks.  I’ve seen my fair share of them.  Work through them.  Don’t give up hope and don’t give up heart.  If nothing else…set your GOAL to match my every day one…and just have some FUN!  You might surprise yourself with what you can accomplish when you let go of the things that weigh you down or don’t allow you to see the big picture anymore.  My favorite and best races and runs are the ones I have done by feel and for fun.  Some have been new PRs and some have been me cruising near the back with good friends and just having a ball.  If it’s no longer fun…it’s no longer worth doing.  Don’t be so rigid in your practice that you lose that spice for life.  Never let that sparkle dull.

And that’s all I have, my friends.  Never let anyone tell you your GOALS aren’t big enough or worthy of the effort you put into them.  Big or small…GOALS are worth pursuing.  Some may be attained quickly, and some may take months or years.  Just never give up.  If it means something to you…keep that fight.  Oh…and be S.M.A.R.T. out there!!  Hope to give you some high fives along the way!

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Sometimes You Just Need To Escape

Guess what!!??

As part of my self-care, self-esteem building, bettering-of-myself experiment that is an ongoing series of successes and (yes) failures…I’m expanding my mind and still attempting to squeeze in a bit of ME TIME, which feels almost impossible these days…but I work with what I have.

Therefore…I’m listening to music…

In fact, I was fortunate enough to attend the U2 show in Louisville, KY this past weekend.  And while it was hot and I wilted and melted until the sun went down, the show was amazing and I (as always) cried during Where The Streets Have No Name as well as Running To Stand Still.  U2 and I have been in a musical relationship since I was a child…and, while I have seen them numerous times in concert, this show was on my home turf and I wasn’t going to miss it.  I’m glad I went.

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Honestly, I needed that show.  I’ve sort of given up finding inspiration in music.  Why search for new music, when some of the best lyrics, some of the best songs, are in the old favorites?  I stand corrected!

I’ve also started diving back into some books.  In fact, I’m working on three at this very moment.  Yes…at the same time.

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So, what is on my reading list at the moment?  Well, at the encouragement of my sister, I am working through 13 Reasons Why, by Jay Asher, on my Kindle.

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I’m sure many of you are familiar with this book, but in case you’re not…here is the synopsis from Amazon.com:

You can’t stop the future. 
You can’t rewind the past.
The only way to learn the secret . . . is to press play.

Clay Jensen returns home from school to find a strange package with his name on it lying on his porch. Inside he discovers several cassette tapes recorded by Hannah Baker—his classmate and crush—who committed suicide two weeks earlier. Hannah’s voice tells him that there are thirteen reasons why she decided to end her life. Clay is one of them. If he listens, he’ll find out why.

Clay spends the night crisscrossing his town with Hannah as his guide. He becomes a firsthand witness to Hannah’s pain, and as he follows Hannah’s recorded words throughout his town, what he discovers changes his life forever.

At work, I often listen to podcasts these days, but there is still room for my beloved audio books.  It’s so easy to listen to a book while I do my work…so I can escape and still be productive.  Let’s here it for multitasking.  I am currently listening to Alexander Hamilton, by Ron Chernow, which is the very book that Lin-Manuel Miranda was reading when he was inspired to write the Broadway musical Hamilton.

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It’s fascinating and a nice escape for the first part of my day at work.  Once again, here is the synopsis from Amazon.com:

In the first full-length biography of Alexander Hamilton in decades, Ron Chernow tells the riveting story of a man who overcame all odds to shape, inspire, and scandalize the newborn America. According to historian Joseph Ellis, Alexander Hamilton is “a robust full-length portrait, in my view the best ever written, of the most brilliant, charismatic and dangerous founder of them all.”

Few figures in American history have been more hotly debated or more grossly misunderstood than Alexander Hamilton. Chernow’s biography gives Hamilton his due and sets the record straight, deftly illustrating that the political and economic greatness of today’s America is the result of Hamilton’s countless sacrifices to champion ideas that were often wildly disputed during his time. “To repudiate his legacy,” Chernow writes, “is, in many ways, to repudiate the modern world.” Chernow here recounts Hamilton’s turbulent life: an illegitimate, largely self-taught orphan from the Caribbean, he came out of nowhere to take America by storm, rising to become George Washington’s aide-de-camp in the Continental Army, coauthoring The Federalist Papers, founding the Bank of New York, leading the Federalist Party, and becoming the first Treasury Secretary of the United States.Historians have long told the story of America’s birth as the triumph of Jefferson’s democratic ideals over the aristocratic intentions of Hamilton. Chernow presents an entirely different man, whose legendary ambitions were motivated not merely by self-interest but by passionate patriotism and a stubborn will to build the foundations of American prosperity and power. His is a Hamilton far more human than we’ve encountered before—from his shame about his birth to his fiery aspirations, from his intimate relationships with childhood friends to his titanic feuds with Jefferson, Madison, Adams, Monroe, and Burr, and from his highly public affair with Maria Reynolds to his loving marriage to his loyal wife Eliza. And never before has there been a more vivid account of Hamilton’s famous and mysterious death in a duel with Aaron Burr in July of 1804.

Chernow’s biography is not just a portrait of Hamilton, but the story of America’s birth seen through its most central figure. At a critical time to look back to our roots, Alexander Hamilton will remind readers of the purpose of our institutions and our heritage as Americans.

And finally…at the encouragement of my amazing, inspiring, and brilliant friend, Melissa, I picked up a book this past weekend to read.  She said that it would really help me through the struggle-bus thought process I am currently working through.  So far, she’s right.  I haven’t gotten far, but I’m going to make a point to sit down and power through this book.  It’s called You Are A Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life, by Jen Sincero.

youareabadassIt’s very motivating, the bit that I have squeezed in to read.  And I find myself nodding and cheering for myself to get this excited about my life.  Maybe it will help.  I think it will.  I’ve already found SO many sentences that I can apply to my current struggles.  In case you’re confused…here is the synopsis from Amazon.com:

Bestselling author, speaker and world-traveling success coach, Jen Sincero, cuts through the din of the self-help genre with her own verbal meat cleaver in You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life. In this refreshingly blunt how-to guide, Sincero, serves up 27 bite-sized chapters full of hilariously inspiring stories, life-changing insights, easy exercises and the occasional swear word.

Via chapters such as “Your Brain is Your Bitch,” “Fear is for Suckers” and “My Subconscious Made Me Do It,” Sincero takes you on a wild joy ride to your own transformation, helping you create the money, relationships, career and general all around awesomeness you so desire. And should you be one of those people who would rather take a bullet than get busted with a self-help book in your hands, fear not. Sincero, a former skeptic herself, delivers the goods minus the New-Age cheese, giving even the snarkiest of poo-pooers exactly what they need to get out of their ruts and start kicking some ass.

By the end of You Are a Badass, you will understand why you are how you are, how to love what you can’t change, how to change what you don’t love, and how to start living the kind of life you used to be jealous of.

So…that’s what is on my reading list currently, but why stop there?  I’ve become so immersed in podcasts as of late.  And while I love a good true crime podcast, I have been directed to, or even discovered through my own hunting, some uplifting and amazing podcasts that I’ve been diving into at work as well.  These include:

  • Make Your Body Work: Live Healthier, Smarter, and Happier – Dave Smith, Canada’s Top Fitness Professional
  • Fit Bottomed Girls – Margo Donohue, Jennipher Walters, and Kristen Seymour
  • The Love, Food Podcast – Julie Duffy Dillon, Registered Dietitian, Food Behavior Expert, and Body Image Guru
  • Body Kindness – Rebecca Scritchfield, RDN

I really need to think more about working toward my nutrition degree or becoming a dietician.  I love learning new things and also…learning how to be kinder to myself during these very trying, often stressful times as I attempt to get this body back to a place where I feel comfortable with it.

AND…I have been out to the movies and had to see, because…reasons, WONDER WOMAN.  It was campy and fun and amazing and everything that it needed to be.  I was nicknamed Wonder Woman years ago by my running store/group…so this was a must see.  And if you haven’t seen it yet…I highly recommend it!

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I have numerous more movies on my TO SEE list…so we’ll see how many I manage to get through before they leave theaters.

So…that’s what I’ve been up to lately.  And yesterday, I broke out my Vitamix and whipped up an amazing smoothie for breakfast that I’ll share the recipe for in a different entry.

What books/podcasts/music/television shows have you been enjoying lately?  I want to hear all about them.  Comment below!!  I’m always looking for new things to get into!

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I Solemnly Swear To Be A Better Blogger

Dear readers…both new and old…

I am sorry.

I am sorry that I have let this blog get away from me.  Life…has been crazy.  Insane.  Busy.  To the point that I literally have no time to do things for myself these days.  To sum it up…I’m running in circles most days.

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I get up early…I do my stretches/exercises that my physical therapist assigned me back in January when I had the paralyzed hip flexor.  Yep.  I’m still doing them.  Do I need to?  Probably not.  But…guess what…

I HAVEN’T BEEN INJURED.

Therefore…I keep doing them.  And that does sometimes mean I go to bed around 8 p.m. to get up at 2 a.m. so I can fit in a 6 mile run before I start the rest of my day.  Because before I run…these stretches/exercises must be done to loosen up my muscles and get this broken body primed and ready to go.  I do my workout…I go to work…I come home…I cook dinner…I do my PT exercises/stretches at night…I foam roll…I go to bed.

No ME time.  No computer time.  No blogging time.

It’s actually kind of draining.

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But this is where it needs to stop.  I have some exciting things coming down the pike and I need to be sure that I am open and share them with you!  I need to find a better way to manage my time so that I can have the time I need to connect with people here…on this blog that I set up for that sole purpose.

I mean, I am an athlete with Celiac.  I am a self-made chef with Celiac.  I want to share my struggles, my recipes, my races, my training, my daily battle with food and this disease that sometimes makes it impossible to have a healthy relationship with food (and sometimes exercise) at all.  (I won’t get into details…but if you know, then you know). And the simple fact that the stressful life I’ve been living these past two years has left me all…

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I wish I could say I was joking. *sigh*

It’s a daily struggle…to have BODY KINDNESS when I feel I have done everything possible to get in a better place with my body.  Two years off with injuries and I’m staring at little bulges where I never had them before.  And it’s hard for me, when my Timehop throws pictures of me back when I had defined abs…or my friends are hitting up the next diet craze, exercising 2-3 times a day, cleansing, or talking about how easy it is for them to lose weight.  And here I am, trying to be all love myself the way I am and feeling every bit of this…

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But I’m working on it.  But this is exactly WHY I need this blog.  I’ve been so out of touch.  And comments from you, my dear friends, help keep me inspired, and pushing to be better and to not give up or give in.  THIS is what I have been lacking.

This marks the first week of my official training for the Chicago Marathon.  Ahead are 16 weeks of some easy, some intense, and some very long runs.  In the summer heat.  I want this body to be ready for it.  I’ve changed up my diet some lately…which I think is a good place to start.  And while there really hasn’t been a drastic change, yet, I think I’m going to be in a good place, nutrition-wise, for this undertaking.  Besides, I’ve given up my daily M&M habit.  Seriously.  One entire month…without handfuls of M&Ms throughout the day.  I actually feel free.  It’s really liberating.  I don’t even feel like I need them anymore.

This is a good start.

So…marathon training is back on.  This is the only marathon I am running this year and, with any luck, I’ll get through this summer of training without any injuries.  Why do Chicago again?  I feel like I’m starting over from scratch…and Chicago was  my first marathon.  It’s the 40th Anniversary.  And I qualified to run, and skip the lottery draw.  So, why not Chicago?  I will aim to do my weekly updates as I did the first time I ran a marathon…read them if you care to.  I’ll slip in little nuggets of goodness…like recipes I’ve tried or created and so on.

While my coach and I have talked goals, in my head, my biggest (and the most important) goal is simply to finish.  And to feel good (as good as someone can) after crossing that finish line 26.2 miles later.  Sometimes set paces freak me out.  I usually get injured when speed is involved.  So, pushing beyond what I think I’m capable of is my biggest challenge, and one I have not figured out how to conquer yet.  Those negative voices in my head, about my running, my weight, whatever it is…they are very hard to quiet sometimes.

Two years of pretty serious injuries will do that to you.

My body has a lot of catching up to do.  My mind has even more.  But…marathon training does instill a lot of discipline.  And I’m hoping it will carry over into other aspects of my life.

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In addition to all of this, I am very happy to report that my social life has all but picked up.  So many new friends!!  Between going to Louisville City FC soccer matches, out for Indian food with friends, having friends over for dinner (yep…I cook) and wine…to hanging out at friend’s homes for the evening and meeting more new people, I’m loving this new active social life.  I’ve sort of lived as a hermit for way too long.  Surrounding myself with people who lift me up and make me laugh is very important to me.  And I’m loving filling up my calendar with more than just my mileage for that day.  And there are quite a few of you who I need to either have over or catch dinner with.  Hit me up…we need to make this happen.

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So, apologies to readers old and new…for the hiatus and filling this blog with simple race reports and ignoring the stuff that got me started on this blog in the first place.  It’s time to refocus and reestablish myself in the blogosphere.  I’m happy to have you with me for the journey.  Hang on tight.  Nothing is ever easy with me…so expect a bumpy, emotional, but encouraging, maybe even inspiring ride.

Love,
The Celiathlete

Just keep taking chances and having fun: A KDF Marathon Wrap-Up

flyIt is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

-Theodore Roosevelt|The Man in the Arena

And just like that…it’s over.  Done.  Finished.  The race has been run and won and packed up.  Streets have been flooded by cars and not by athletic shoes pounding out a cadence that is either scripted by music in the earbuds or matching that racing heartbeat.  Crumbled white cups that used to hold water or Powerade have long been swept up.

It’s business as usual in Louisville, Kentucky.

This week, we had the official Wrap-Up meeting for the #KDFMarathon Ambassadors.

Let me just give you a little insight as to why this was so emotionally hard for me…

I was chosen to be a part of this amazing group of people back in the beginning of August.  So here I was, now a member of a group of 20 people that were hand selected by the Kentucky Derby Festival people to represent the Marathon/miniMarathon!  I was beyond honored, ecstatic, and ready to do what I could for this local race.

 

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The official announcement happened on August 5th for me…I was in the final group to be announced.

I had no idea how much these people and this position would change me.  Personally.  Emotionally.  I never expected or anticipated the impact that being a part of the KDF Marathon family would have on me.  But this has been one of the most rewarding things I have done in my life.

I’m almost 40 years old.  So that’s saying something.  Regardless of how average my life is.  HA!!

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For countless months and so many training runs…these people…this amazing, inspiring group of people…were my freakin’ backbone.  We saw each other through surgeries, recovery, losses, injuries, PRs, hard times, good times…you name it.  We stuck through it all together.  We would check in via phone, text, Facebook, e-mail…we truly became a family.  I have never seen a large group of different personalities just fall into such a happy place with each other.  Simply put…we worked.

When the photo above was taken, I knew maybe 2 of the three people in the group.  But I was talking and chatting with all of them, like I knew them for years, by the time the meeting wrapped up.  I was just getting back into the swing of things.  I had returned from Hawaii after giving my best (and ultimately, feeling let down by my performance) at the Kauai Marathon (I mean, it was my first major race back from my hip labrum tear).  Nothing hurt.  No pains.  I was ready to get excited to train for the KDF full marathon.  I had run it in 2014 as a pacer for a friend…but I really just wanted to run these streets for me this time.  Official training didn’t begin until January, but starting as early as our first meeting, we had a discount code for registration to share and we were off to the races (pardon the pun).

I had a fantastic time connecting with some of them at the Disney Wine & Dine Lumiere’s Challenge weekend!


Food.  Wine.  Running. Disney.  You better believe we were bonding.  AND we did make a point to find one another before the race…after the race…in the parks…at the after party.  We honestly…enjoyed each other’s company.  AND…texting/calling one such group member who MIGHT have slept through her alarm on the first race. *cough*

When you are a member of such a diverse group…and you can bond over one thing as simple as running…you’re going to find a lot of other things to bond over.  While we only had a few official meetings, the unofficial ones turned out to be just as important…at least to me.

I met up with Melissa once more at a Disney race…this time in January…and this time under much, much different circumstances.  On December 31, I did a 14 mile training run and ended up having a twinge of the hip flexor.  It didn’t go away.  It only got worse.  And I honestly stopped running after that.  Nothing leading into my upcoming January events.  I was heading into the Disneyland Light Side Rebel Challenge weekend.  When the orthopedic doctor wasn’t able to see me or to talk to me before I left…things got beyond stressful.  And I had more than one panic attack in California.  I remember walking to the start corrals (I was in A and Melissa was a few back) and I was seriously on the verge of tears because my hip was honestly being held together by KT Tape, ACE Bandages, and compression shorts under my costume), and Melissa stopped me and gave me the best hug ever and told me just to go have fun…stop for pictures…not even worry about the time on the watch…and that if they caught up to me and I was walking…they’d join me.  I mean…this woman….is probably one of the few people left in this world who just thinks about others like that.  Is it any wonder we all love her?  Her pep talks…work magic.  And her spirit is contagious.

Paul (Boba Fett), Melissa (Maz), and Me (Rey)...because STAR WARS!

Paul (Boba Fett), Melissa (Maz), and Me (Rey)…because STAR WARS!

Melissa has become, honestly, one of my best friends.  We hang out together…bond over gluten-free eats, and just laugh.  God, we can laugh over the silliest and stupidest things.  But…how she and I, both living in New Albany, have never crossed paths before, neither of us can figure out.  But now…we’ve got a lifetime to make up for it.

As the KDF training runs began, despite still not being able to run…AT ALL…I turned up for them.  There were some very cold mornings where I would just walk.  Sometimes 2 miles…sometimes 4…sometimes 5.  It took forever.  And I would cry.  GOD, would I cry.  But…here my amazing Ambassadors would lift my spirits with jokes, anecdotes, high fives, hugs, smiles, encouragement…THE ENTIRE TIME!  One of them (calling you out here, Chris) gave me a blanket after one of the coldest mornings that I had to walk and was determined to WALK at least half the distance.  I hurt so bad…and the cold wasn’t helping.  I still have that blanket.  Chris…I can give you back your blanket…FYI!

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Chris, Paul, Jack, Reggie, Dawn, Me, Melissa…freezing our running asses off!

We were friends…we are family!

Race morning…if it could go wrong…if it could happen…well, we all read about it or experienced it.  IT HAPPENED!  From thunderstorms, delays, nutrition being off, more delays, people getting locked in a bank, more delays…and finally a 9:15 am start…well…there is actually a lot behind all of why that happened that way and I hope those of you who swore of the KDF Marathon/miniMarathon make a point to try it out again.  It was really eye-opening to get the behind-the-scenes play-by-play by the new race director at the final KDF Ambassador Wrap-Up Meeting.  Everything had to play out that way for safety…and there is a lot the general public doesn’t understand.  You do the best you can under the circumstances, right?

The thing is…for better or for worse…we made it.  We struggled and thrived in training.  We struggled and thrived in the race.  And while we all had different paces, places, and races…we all finished this…together.  I was so honored to have been able to see most of my friends at the finish line.  I loved being able to give them that hug…because when we finish a race under even the best of circumstances, that hug can change everything.  WE DID THIS THING!  WE did this thing that WE trained for and prepared for and WE did this thing…TOGETHER!

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This past week we had the final meeting.  And while those who were able to attend were few…we had everyone there in spirit.  Over Lemon Blossoms and good conversation…we wrapped it all up and concluded our term as a 2016-2017 KDF Marathon Ambassador.

And…much to my surprise, I was awarded one of the Top Social Media Recruiter Awards…a distinction that I proudly share with Stephanie, another lady who has inspired, motivated, and befriended me.  Seriously…this was so shocking and unexpected.  And I’m honored simply to have been an Ambassador, but to include me with someone who rocked the social media world with her posts…it’s amazing to me.


One of the Ambassadors really went above and beyond when it came to recruitment and promotions.  Honestly, he would work on setting up tables at local business and gyms.  And he didn’t keep this to himself either, but invited other Ambassadors to jump in and get on it too.  And it was for that reason that Jack took home the Award for Promotions!

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Chris, Deana, Jack, and Stephanie

And the award of the night went to the person who most deserved, earned, and fought for it.  Seriously…if you could hear her back story…and then all that happened to her on the marathon course…you’d be in awe of her.  She’s one of my best friends now.  And I would be lying to say I wasn’t slightly jealous because she gets to be a part of the new group that comes together for next year…but…I’m proud of her.  Oddly enough…I even had said for a few weeks leading into this meeting that if she didn’t win Ambassador of the Year, I would be disappointed…so…Melissa Nolan..take a big freakin’ bow and get your beauty queen wave on!!

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Melissa is Ambassador of the Year

And no blog would be complete without the last shot of all of us who were able to make the meeting.  Honestly, to those pictured below and those pictured in the first group shot way at the beginning of this post…I can’t emphasize enough how much your friendship and encouragement have inspired me, moved me, and kept me going.  I had some highs during my time as an Ambassador…but I had more lows in my life…and they lifted me up and kept me going…and that, friends, is what this group is all about.  I didn’t ever feel like we had any sort of competition in our group.  We invited each other to our parties, to lunches, and even gave airport transportation.  I have a whole new group of friends in my life…and I’m forever thankful to have had this opportunity to grow not just as a runner, but as a person too.

To Deana, Chris, Stephanie, Amy, Chad, Danielle, Dawn, Jack, Jamie, Jessica, Kelsey, Leah, Madeline, Melissa, Paul, Reggie, Richie, Stephanie, and Tonya…I can’t wait to see and experience all that awaits you down the road.  I can’t wait to see how you rise above it all.  I can’t wait to see you soar over challenges and push yourself to the next level.  I can’t wait to see more starting lines…and finish lines with you.  Not strictly race-related…because we’re all in this thing called life together…and whether physical or metaphorical…we’ve got new beginnings and new ends ahead.  I can’t wait to cheer you through it all.  LOVE YOU!

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For any of you who have thought about becoming a Race Ambassador, I highly recommend it.  This has been such a rewarding experience for me.  I can’t even begin to put into words (that I haven’t already used) how much this group motivated, supported, and changed me.  They were my rocks.  And I can’t wait to see them at our unofficial Ambassador reunions and out on the streets of our amazing city!

If you want to try to get in as a KDF Marathon Race Ambassador next year…the application opens in August.  Fill it out!!  Maybe magic will happen for you too!  Chase your dreams, friends!!  See you out on the roads!!

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Last Chance to Register for KDFMarathon/miniMarathon!!

There are only EIGHT (8) more days until the start gun goes off at the #KDFMarathon & miniMarathon!

This journey, for me, has been quite the ride this year!  For many reasons…

1. Being chosen as a #KDFMarathon Ambassador

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Honestly, this has been such a fun journey where I not only gained new friends, but a whole new family!  I can’t express enough what a difference being a part of this fantastic group of individuals has done for me.  When bad stuff happens, they got your back.  When you need help, they back you up.  When you can’t run, they walk with you.  When you are down, they text or message you with funny and uplifting words and images.  I didn’t know how important these people were going to be when this picture was taken, but, let me tell you this…my life is forever richer because of every single one of them!

2.  A Different Hip Injury on a Different Hip

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It was January 1st when it struck.  My “good” hip…the one without the labrum tear…started to act up.  To the point that I was limping.  Running was out of the question.  My doctor couldn’t see me before my trip to California to run the Disneyland Star Wars Rebel Challenge (10K & Half Marathon), so I hobbled through those races held together by KT Tape, ACE Bandages, and the knowledge that if I stopped running…I probably wouldn’t start again.  Soon after, I was able to see my doctor, where I was told I had a hip flexor strain, and sent to physical therapy.  It was a long road…but I was finally back to running (slowly and with a little pain)…until the pain became less…and the miles were able to increase.  So, my bad hip (the right one with the labrum tear) feels good…and my left hip (paralyzed hip flexor)…now is functioning and moving pain-free.  And I finally was able to start running at the #KDFMarathon training runs, and not just walking in the face-numbing cold.  I, did, however, make a point to show up to every single one of the training runs…even though I couldn’t run.

3. Seeing others do what they thought was impossible…

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I see it every day…via social media…friends, friends of friends, family…whoever it is and whatever journey or goal they have set…watching people I know (and sometimes don’t know) push through what they once thought was impossible has been an uplifting and motivating experience.  My friend, Natalie, is running her first marathon at KDF.  When she did her 20 mile run, her post made me smile…and reminds me that any goal can be achieved if you set your mind to it…and never give up.  Same goes for my fellow Ambassador, and friend, Melissa.  She’s been dealing with knee a knee injury since January as well…but she has shown up and done her damn best to get out there and at least get her miles in…even if she walked them all and froze her face off.  Natalie…if you’re reading this…enjoy your first marathon next weekend!  Melissa…you’re so ready and you are going to kill it out there!

Whatever your story…wherever you started…whatever your goal…chase it down.  It’s yours for the taking.

And with all of that mess out of the way, I am here to remind you that today, APRIL 20, 2017 is the LAST DAY to register for the #KDFMarathon & miniMarathon!  AND…in case you have been procrastinating or on the fence…I have one last DISCOUNT CODE that will save you $15 off your registration!  As a reminder, today is also the last day to make any changes to your current registration, be it moving up to the full or dropping to the half or transferring your bib.

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The discount code is: KDFSUNSHINE.  As always, please select me, Karen Brady, as your race ambassador.  This offer ends TONIGHT at MIDNIGHT!

For any of my friends who are doing this race, I am also working at the Race Expo on Thursday from 3-8 pm.  So come on down and see me!!

And for the rest of you…I hope to see you on race day…before, during, or after.  High fives and hugs all around!

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