Category: mileage

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Reflections of a Recovering Runner

comeback01Slow.  Weak.  Broken.  Scared.

These are the words that describe me when it comes to prepping for and going out for any sort of run.  Whether it’s a race or a training run…or just an easy fun run to shake off a bad day or a extended period sitting…or even just an excuse to stretch the legs.  I feel like my mind has to work overtime anymore for fear of, frankly, damaging myself again.

Where once I would have used words like…Confident.  Strong.  Fast.  Free…to describe myself as a runner, I can’t seem to see that anymore in my running, my reflection, my ability.

Every run…is a mental and physical struggle for me.  I have to think about everything and still attempt to run…well.

Note the phrasing…attempt to run well.

Because every step I take on a run, I have to listen to the signals my body is sending me.  Does my hip hurt?  If so, is it because of speed…or incline…or form?  If so, am I overcompensating with the other leg?  Does anything else hurt.  Are my feet falling quickly and softly.  Is my cadence even?  Am I leaning back?  Am I heel striking?

It sort of takes the joy out of lacing up those shoes and going out.  PLUS…before I even get started, I have about 30 minutes of necessary PT exercises and warm-ups, and those are usually a good gauge as to how any sort of run is going to feel.  If my leg lifts hurt…you better believe my run is going to hurt.  And then the brain starts working overtime, doubting myself, thinking I’m just going to end up sidelined again.  Wondering…is it all really worth it?  What happens when the activity that you used to do so easily, freely, and with so much joy…mentally and physically drains you?

You press on!   Or at least, that’s what I do.

When it was bitterly cold, when there was snow, when it rains…I’m out on that sidewalk in front of my apartment doing all the plyometrics and warm-up exercises that my physical therapist assigned me.  Why?  Because taking another year off to recover from injury doesn’t sound appealing at all.  In fact, it scares me.  I have gone through a year of hardships, trials, and a lot of pain…and my journey is not over yet.  That being said, I’m not one to give up either.

What brings this up?  Well…tomorrow is one of my favorite races to participate in.  I had to miss it last year as I was…running the Boston Marathon.  Injured.  So, I would have had to miss it regardless…but…I have a history with this little 5K.

The Pro.Active For Life 5K is in its 10th year running.  And I have run it in 2012, 2013, and 2014.  In each one…I have placed in my age division and/or as one of the top 3 female finishers.  And…it is my PR 5K race.

And tomorrow, for the first time, I’m actually nervous about going to Frankfort after work to run in this race.  And it’s simply because…every run is day-to-day.  I feel good some days; I hurt some days.  There is no rhyme or reason to it.  And there are a lot of amazing, skilled, fast, and mad talented runners in Frankfort and at this race.  My legs are still weak from a year off…the hill repeats sometimes making me feel strong, and sometimes making my legs scream at me and my hip hate me for the next 3 days.  My speed…is not consistent.  My legs tire easily…or just refuse to power me through some runs.  Yes…even short ones.  And especially sprints…and I’ve never been a sprinter.

And all of this has been rolling around in my head this entire week since getting back from Florida.  I am not afraid of not placing or setting a new PR.  I don’t care about that.  I’m afraid of letting myself down.  I hold myself up to a certain level and expect a lot of myself…especially at races I’ve always performed well in.  But…it just seems daunting and impossible these days.  Because. my mind races through that checklist EVERY. SINGLE. RUN.

I have to work harder than before to run.  I have to work harder than most to be able to run.  My body, literally, is not made for it.  But I’m not letting it stop me.  I am a work in progress, for sure.  And it’s hard…and I know it’s possible that I may not get stronger, or better, or even faster…but I’m not going to stop trying.

I’m also scared going into tomorrow evening because I have a rather long run planned for Saturday morning…and I’m doing it solo…because people are recovering from Boston, or tapering for Derby or Flying Pig.  And that scares me too.  I worry about pushing too hard in the 5K and not being able to do my run on Saturday.  And, sadly, the run on Saturday is the more important of the two.  And this has been my struggle, my concerns, and my fears/worries since…well…I started running again.  But, it’s been weighing heavy on me for this entire week leading into tomorrow night.

I have lost a lot of confidence in myself.  I know that.  And I have lost strength, fitness, and speed.  But I have not lost my drive.  Running may feel harder…because, these days running is harder.

But I can’t stop.  And I won’t stop.

It’s okay to be scared…but I can’t let it take control.

This is my comeback.  It’s slow.  But it’s progress.  And for now, progress is all I can ask for.  The rest will…hopefully…fall into place.

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Papa John’s 10 Miler – Louisville, KY (March 26, 2016)

Me at the start of the 2016 Papa John's 10 Miler - Louisville, Kentucky
Me at the start of the 2016 Papa John’s 10 Miler – Louisville, Kentucky

Race: Papa John’s 10 Miler

Place: Louisville, Kentucky

Date: March 26, 2016

Time: 1:16:41

Three years after I last ran my favorite race held in Louisville…I finally returned.  I absolutely LOVE the Papa John’s 10 Miler.  Seriously.  I don’t call a race my favorite in the area if it really isn’t my favorite.  I just love this race, despite the hills of Iroquois Park and all of that.

It has been a crazy couple of weeks for racing (heh…I guess when I get back into something, I totally jump right back into it, eh?).  Two 2 mile sprints, a half marathon in NYC, and now a 10 miler.  Whew.

Let me tell you, the travel time and early mornings to fit in some makeup time at the office have really caught up to me too.  I was TIRED.  T-I-R-E-D.  In fact, I had logged online after doing my dynamic stretches Saturday morning before leaving for the race, and ended up almost falling asleep.  Instead, though, I ate my breakfast (Chocolate Chex…yum!), brushed my teeth, and got my race bib pinned on and put on the clothes I could discard before the start…because the 32 degree air (with it feeling like 29 degrees) meant layers were necessary.  And then…the trek over the river to Louisville.

Normally, the parking situation for the Papa John’s 10 Miler is easy.  Park at the stadium.  Good to go.  Not so much this year.  They weren’t letting anyone park at the stadium this time around.  So…that was unexpected and different.  Cathy and I ended up turning around and pulling into the parking lot of some little business and parking there, hoping against all odds that we didn’t get ticketed or towed.  Seems a lot of people followed suit with that as well.  Because we parked and soon the entire lot was parked up and so was the lawn.  Go figure.  We then had over a mile to hike from the car to start line due to this…so that was my warm up.  Because I wasn’t going to have time to do my stretches prior to the start at this rate.  I ate my banana as we walked and made the climb up the stairs to the overpass and crossed, where other runners were also making their way that way.  Got there with 10 minutes to spare.  Stretches weren’t happening.  I shed my outer layer and went to go get into the massive group of people crowding the start gate.  The wheelchair and pushers were set to go off first…so that was the beginning of the race.  My friend, Daniel, was one of the pushers.  These runners are amazing.  And the wheelchair racers…inspiring.  Especially on those hills in Iroquois.

Soon after the wheelchair and pushers were off…the start of the race was next.  And with a “Runners on your mark…GO!”  A horn sounded and we were off.  It took me less than a minute to get to the start gate, and as I ran through, I saw Cathy waiving the sign and gave her a goofy “raise the roof” move and ran past.  I was off.

Just coming off a half marathon in NYC, I had no plans to do anything but comfortably run this race.  I had no idea what my previous times (I have run it 2 times before) were for this race.  I didn’t look them up.  Something I sort of lamented around Mile 2, haha!  I think it was better that way.  It meant I really would just run this as I felt.

Me making the final turn toward the finish line of the Papa John's 10 Miler - Louisville, Kentucky
Me making the final turn toward the finish line of the Papa John’s 10 Miler – Louisville, Kentucky

Unfortunately, the cold air plays havoc with my hip these days.  I am not saying it’s perfect in warmer temperatures, but it’s 70% harder in cold weather.  The hip adductor locks up, gets tight…hurts.  So, once again, I had to really make sure I focused on my form, on lifting that right leg up, on not doing any damage to myself.  Stress fractures are not welcome here.  Ever.  Again.  Between Mile 1 and 2…I heard someone call my name and turned around, and there was Geri.  So that was really great.  She was the first person to really take note of how my running form and style has changed since seeing my running specialist.  She’s training for Boston…and London…and Grandma’s…and I’m sure another amazing adventure too.  Beast mode is always on with Geri.

So, after all of that, I ran the rest of Southern Parkway and made the turn onto New Cut Road, running toward the entrance of Iroquois Park.  Mile 3 is just before the turn into the park.  I hit it and began to make the turn into the park.  As I started on the hilly route, I came across Daniel and the athlete he was pushing for the race. I tapped him on the shoulder and told him that he was awesome.  He said, “And you’re in neon…as always.”  I might have a reputation, LOL!  And just around Mile 4, I was running past the amphitheater and I heard Tammy and Dan start shouting at me.  I gave them a wave and a smile…and it really just lifted me.  The hills started soon after that…the first one is the one the training group does hill repeats on, and I took it easy on that.  First hill.  Done.  The downhill was awesome, but I knew there were more hills to come.  I let momentum carry me down, and did that throughout the rest of the park.  Just after Mile 6, we come back out onto Southern Parkway for the straightaway back toward Papa John’s Stadium.

With the cold weather, there weren’t as many spectators that were out, but there were some…and I was happy to have them there.  I ran comfortably, trading back and forths with a few runners.  It amazes me how fast and hard people can push at later miles.  Currently, I’m not ready to push…but I love hearing people discuss their paces and goals.  My favorite was this mother running with her young son…around Mile 7 she said, “We only have one more hill at the overpass.”  And they ran past me.  I loved seeing that.  They stuck together the entire time.

Miles 7-9 are all down Eastern Parkway, and then, right at the corner with the Starbucks, is Mile 9.  Then, yes…the hill up over the overpass.  My friend, Melissa, said that I really pushed her those last few miles.  What a compliment.  She was strong the entire time.  Hills didn’t slow her down.  Nothing seemed to.  I hope to get back to that level some day.  After climbing the hill, it was down and around to make the turn to take us into the stadium.  Down the ramp, onto the AstroTurf, and I started to book it as much as I could toward that finish line.  I could hear Cathy screaming at me from across the stadium, for real.  I really pressed on the speed as much as I could (and that’s still not much right now) and ran across that finish line.

I felt great.  I was smiling.  I had a photographer come over to take my picture and then tell me that “he almost missed me.”  Neon and all, yeah…I didn’t stand out much.  LOL!!  As I just got my medal, I heard someone say, “Karen?”  It was Greg from Frankfort.  We hugged and stood around talking for awhile about running and racing and things we have coming up, officially and unofficially.  He took a picture of Melissa and I, because Greg is awesome like that.  It was nice to see him again.  He said at one point in Iroquois, we were running side by side, just like the 10K in Frankfort a couple years ago.  I didn’t even notice…but he knew it was me.  Guess I was in my zone.

I made my way out of the finish area and caught up with Cathy.  She said the lines for the massages weren’t long so I went and stood in line.  My friend, Renee, who I know from the YMCA and spin class came over and she had a new PR by 6 minutes.  That’s huge.  Cathy looked up my time on the official tracker…and I PR’d by 2 full minutes.  2 minutes, from the year I was running my best.  What.  The.  Hell.  I’m not complaining, but I wasn’t even trying.  That’s…amazing.  I was a little sore…I still blame most of that on the cold.  But I felt good.  And that was such a boost.  The massage, by the way, felt great.

Finisher of the 3016 Papa John's 10 Miler - Louisville, Kentucky
Finisher of the 3016 Papa John’s 10 Miler – Louisville, Kentucky

So…the official results of the 2016 Papa John’s 10 Miler were that I finished in 1:16:41, shaving about 2 minutes off my time from 2013.  I couldn’t believe it.  I was just running as I felt, and I felt I was running much easier and slower than I had run this race in the past.  Like I said, sometimes I surprise myself.  A lot of times that happens when I’m tired or not at my best (like with a tight and sore hip)!  I was 361/5188 overall, the 71/2915 female to cross the finish line, and I was 13/466 in my division.  I couldn’t be more proud of myself.  Or surprised.  Again.

I feel a little more confident these days when I hit the roads, but I’m still very careful and tentative.  Honestly.  But, it feels good to say that this run felt easy…and when I crossed that finish line, I felt that I could have given a bit more.  That’s a good feeling.  I hope I can continue to make easy and steady progress, and one day feel a little more confident and ready to push.  Because I am excited to see what I can make this body do.

Thanks for continuing to be my favorite Louisville race, Papa John’s 10 Miler.  This is what keeps me coming back for more.

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United Airlines NYC Half Marathon – New York, NY (March 20, 2016)

Me after finishing the United Airlines NYC Half Marathon - New York, New York
Me after finishing the United Airlines NYC Half Marathon – New York, New York

Race: United Airlines NYC Half Marathon

Place: New York, New York

Date: March 20, 2016

Time: 1:43:53

When I go into a race without any expectations or goals…I seem to do better than anticipated.  While I had a semi-goal of being able to do my first half marathon distance after injury (for a year) in sub-2 hours, I wasn’t going to be too hard on myself if it didn’t happen.

Especially since the weather changed drastically the week of the race.

The weekend before the United Airlines NYC Half Marathon…the weather was gorgeous.  Not just in Louisville (where I ran my first official race back…the Rodes City Run 10K), but up in New York too.  I was hoping it would hold.  I do better in nicer temperatures.  But as the week went on…the gorgeous weather started to go away.

NOOOOOO!!

For much of the week, the forecast was calling for rain…cold…wind.  Then snow…cold…wind.  And then, on Friday night, it changed to just really flippin cold and really flippin’ windy.

UGH!!  Now I was in a crisis. I had my outfit planned out for weeks…but the 30 degree temps and the strong winds (and the wind chill it would bring), meant I needed to reevaluate my wardrobe.  With much reluctance, the running skirt went back into the closet and a pair of my (albeit bright) compression tights came out.  Any of you who regularly read my running blog know…I…HATE…PANTS.  So this frustrated me.  I also packed a big turtleneck lined top and a windbreaker…and at the last minute, just before walking out the door early Saturday…I tossed in a long sleeve shirt…just in case, because I never ran in a windbreaker and I was nervous it would annoy me or just not work out…in which case, I’d rather brace against the cold in layers than anything.

So, Saturday morning was an early morning for me.  I was up at 2 am to do all my physical therapy exercises.  The stretches, the dynamic stuff outside, the plyometrics.  I knew once I touched down in NYC…I was on the move…and these stretches were more important than anything else.

I admit, a little voice in my head said, “Go on…go do an easy mile or two for a shakeout before getting on the plane.”  But, as tempting as it was, I quieted that voice.  I knew I’d be on the go both at the airports and once I touched down in the city, the shakeout wasn’t important, and I didn’t need to do it.  I’d be doing ample time on my feet just moving about NYC.

See what I have learned??!!

So, we (my roommate and I) walked out the door right at 5 am (giving us time to get a light breakfast in our stomachs and (SO VERY MUCH NEEDED) coffee into our system.  We got to the Louisville airport in record time…parked…had to take a roundabout way to the Southwest Airlines counter due to renovations that are going on, and which I hope they finish up before Derby, or that airport is going to be a mess.  Security was quick, although I ended up being randomly chosen for the hand swab, and my laptop (as always) had to be examined more closely…but it was quick, painless, and we were off and heading to our gate (which was behind a bunch of renovation boards).  Like I said, the airport was sort of a mess.

Deciding that we weren’t ready to settle in yet, we took a little walk, as usual, through the airport crowds, and Cathy and I grabbed a Cool Lime Refresher at Starbucks (and she got a breakfast sammie as well) and we went back to the gate.  I downed one of the new LUNA Bars (the Dark Chocolate Mocha Almond, which has only 5 grams of sugar and tasted like an amazing caffe mocha) and then…it was time to board.  We were at the end of the A group…so it worked out perfectly.

Our flight had a small layover at Chicago Midway before we went on to NYC.  So, we took the time to stretch our legs and walk the terminal. I was really craving something sweet, so we went on the “Great Fruit Cup Hunt of Midway,” finding that everywhere that normally had fruit cups were sold out.  With 5 minutes to boarding, we finally found something at one of the food court restaurants.  It was a large fruit cup with honeydew melon, pineapple, grapes and strawberries in it.  I carried it onto our flight into Laguardia Airport and ate it while still sitting on the runway.

The flight into Laguardia was uneventful, save for the funny flight crew.  The lead flight

Me with the United Airlines NYC Half Marathon logo - New York, New York
Me with the United Airlines NYC Half Marathon logo – New York, New York

attendant was in her 50s and just…SO funny.  Love that.  It also helps calm my nerves when the flight crew is loosey-goosey like that.  I was drinking my water to hydrate, hydrate, hydrate and we landed in Laguardia early.  Taxied to the jetway…disembarked…and went to baggage claim.  My bag was the 2nd one off the belt.  Cathy’s wasn’t too far behind.  With bags in hand, we called the hired car company and they had a car out to fetch us in about 5 or so minutes.  Luggage went into the trunk and we were now on our way into Manhattan…staying at a different hotel this time (which was totally our fault because we originally had the race pegged for the weekend before this one and it wasn’t until about a month before that I realized the date of the race was for the week after…in my defense, it ran a week earlier last year!)…but the traffic situation wasn’t bad and our driver was really aggressive once he got into the city blocks, LOL!  We were dropped off at the door of The Distrikt Hotel on W 40th Street and went to check in.

We were much earlier than anticipated, so our room wasn’t ready yet.  We did go ahead and leave our bags and went to go buy a Metrocard and take the subway to get to the United Airlines NYC Half Experience (the expo), which was taking place at the Metropolitan Pavilion. We headed into the Expo, which was a madhouse!  Seriously…at some points, I felt like salmon swimming upstream.  I had the registration sheet with me so I went over to where my numbers were to pick up my bib.  From there, it was through the store and over to get my official bag with my t-shirt and stuff in it.  I haven’t really looked through what else was in there.  I made one circuit of the expo before returning to the official store.  There was a great t-shirt in there, pink and purple, that I had my eye on.  But, to no surprise, my size was gone.  Disappointing for sure.  Ah well.  Except, Cathy and I realized almost all official merchandise for women had nothing left in small.  Now I remember why I order things online ahead of this.  She did manage to find me an official finisher’s t-shirt and I grabbed a Sparkly Soul headband that had the event name on it.  Purchases made.  Back into the expo.

I actually thought there would be more vendors there and more to see and lots more places to shop.  But, for the best, there wasn’t. I walked through the line of charities…I got in line to have my picture taken in front of the logo…Cathy made a couple signs (which never got used due to the 21 mph gusts of wind on race morning)…and we settled in for a moment at a table where I could charge my phone and we could catch our breath.

Me and my awesome friend Ellen at the United Airlines NYC Half Marathon Experience
Me and my awesome friend Ellen at the United Airlines NYC Half Marathon Experience

My friend, Ellen, who got in on lottery this year (I deferred last year so had automatic entry…except I had to repay the $127 registration fee), turned up to meet up with me, and brought me a nice salad to boot.  YAY for friends.  YAY for food!  We discussed what we were planning on wearing, food, and…all the crazy shit (hehehe…get it Ellen?) that runners rely on and need to have happen prior to a run.  It was fun.  I even did a Snapchat video for her giving a running tip.  She calls me her inspiration…but I think she’s mine.  She needed to get back to the charity event she was attending, and I needed to get back to the hotel to get into the room.  The travel capris I was wearing weren’t very warm against the already chilly wind of NYC.  So, we returned to the hotel, got our room, gathered our bags, and went upstairs.  We flopped for a moment before changing into jeans and heading back out…this time just to explore.  We didn’t want to stop in for dinner until at least 5 p.m.  So, we had a couple of hours to just explore.  That’s what we did, too.

With no plan, we just wandered through some of the area, stopping into shops that drew our attention.  We went and got our chocolate from Teuscher (I got a mini champagne, dark mocha, and dark salted caramel…and Cathy got a limoncello, almond, and chocolate orange truffle), which is a requirement, and ducked into the Hard Rock Café for a shotglass and a pin.  Back out and seeing the city until we decided to hike over to our pre-race dinner spot of choice, Don Antonio by Starita on W 50th Street.  They have a fantastic gluten-free pizza menu, and while they have a couple of GF and Vegan options, I stuck with the one I knew I loved and wouldn’t give me too much.  The Marinara Pizza Senza Glutine.  OMG…this is my 2nd favorite gluten-free pizza crust in the world (the first being Annie May’s Sweet Café).  I love when there is a real and actual crust on a gluten-free pizza, and not just a cracker crust.  We devoured dinner and then hiked back to the hotel to cycle through showers, giving me time to foam roll, and to eat some chocolate.  HA!  It was an early to bed night…and by 9 pm…we were turning out the lights.

I set the alarm on my phone for the first one to wake me up at 4 a.m.  It went off and I got up to use the bathroom, take my medicine, and then crawled back into bed for another 50 minutes.  The second alarm was the 5 a.m. one, and I got up and started to get changed into my running gear for the race.  Cathy was up at 5:15 to get dressed and ready.  And while I felt good all day prior to this morning, I felt tired, but in good shape for the actual race.  I was not happy that I had to wear pants to run a half marathon, but the windchill was a factor and I under-dressed once before for a full and have been nervous about doing that again ever since (hypothermia is NOT fun, my friends).  I decided to wear a long sleeve tech shirt under my warmer top with the big turtleneck top, figuring it would be good against the wind, without me trying to get used to running in a windbreaker on the fly.  I got my number pinned on, threw on the hoodie I was going to leave behind, filled up my water bottles and we were off.

We took the subway to Columbus Circle and disembarked, climbing the stairs and being

Me at then entrance of Central Park, Times Square behind me, on the morning of the United Airlines NYC Half Marathon - New York, New York
Me at then entrance of Central Park, Times Square behind me, on the morning of the United Airlines NYC Half Marathon – New York, New York

greeted with some of the coldest wind.  I don’t know how the dude in front of us was handling being in short running shorts, because I would have been dying.  I think he was.  But…to each their own, right?!  We walked over to the checkpoint at Central Park where Cathy had to go her own way and I had to show my bib number and enter.  We took a picture of me with Times Square behind me and then I went in.  I walked with a bunch of runners who were just talking about some of the most random stuff.  One was talking about Scott Jurek on Instagram and it was kind of amusing to me.  We went through the medal detectors and then continued on the path to the corrals.  There was a line of port-o-potties without lines and many of the people I was walking with went to take advantage of them…and I kept on trekking.  I made my way to the line of corrals, working my way up to the one for 10000-10999.  I did a few of my dynamic warm-up moves from physical therapy, but the air temperature was enough to make me not want to do it anymore.  I did one set of each, then hunkered down and shivered for a good half hour more.  It was really, really cold.  When the corrals opened for the start of the wheelchair race, I stepped inside and did a few static stretches just to loosen up.  From the onslaught of the cold wind, my hip was already not loving me.  It began to ache during the easy walk from security to the corals.  Seriously, my body and cold weather never got along, but it really doesn’t get along with it these days.

The wheelchair racers, hand crank racers, and elite women were all sent off by 7:15 a.m.  It was awesome standing in the corral and being able to see each group take off.  When the elite women took up, I cheered loudly for Molly Huddle, who is from Elmira, NY…my hometown area.  She’s amazing.  She’s fast.  She set a new course record that morning and it came down to an eighth of a second…it was THAT close.  The elite men went off with Wave 1 at 7:30 a.m..  Then my wave…Wave 2…were shuffled forward for our 7:45 a.m. start.  It was really exciting.  When the airhorn blew to send us off, I began the walk toward the official start, and started my Garmin as I crossed.  The first step already had my hip screaming at me.  I struggled through the final mile of a 10K the weekend prior…and I just started a half marathon.  I really just made a point go focus on my form and my breathing, and just finding a comfortable pace to run at.  As I said, I had no goals or expectations…just to have fun and to finish what I start.  Well…I started.  I now had to finish.

Me running through the 10K mark of the United Airlines NYC Half Marathon - New York, New York
Me running through the 10K mark of the United Airlines NYC Half Marathon – New York, New York

The 6 miles through Central Park are beautiful and quiet.  There were pockets of spectators out there, but mostly it was runners, our feet, and our breathing.  Being the start of the race, I would catch snatches of conversations people were having as they ran the race with friends or running partners.  It keeps me amused.  Some people were tucked into their earbuds, their music propelling them forward.  There was a couple running together, and on the back of his shirt was a sign that said “Baby on Board” and an arrow pointing to his wife who was running right next to him.  The people inside the park were loud and awesome and the little loop we do outside the park to turn around and head back in…was packed, crowded and loud.  I love a good crowd.  The hills of Central Park are respectable, but my hill repeats have been more intense than those, so while they slowed me down slightly, they didn’t have me huffing and puffing.  I’m learning to love to hate to love those hill repeat sessions more and more.  I didn’t check my pace on my watch at any point, but I hit the 5K mark and felt like I was coming along well for someone who was fighting hip pain twinges since the start.  With the hills now behind us, the runners exit Central Park onto 7th Avenue.  Cathy said she’d be outside the park to see me there, so I got to the left per her instructions and headed up 7th Avenue.  She was tucked into the pocket of the turn, but I heard her shouting and screaming and I gave a wave at her as I ran past.  It lifted my spirits, for sure.  And it was on to run down 7th Avenue and into Times Square.

I think Times Square was my favorite part of this race.  The crowd was intense.  There was so much noise.  All the screens were lit up.  The Kids Mile was running through there.  There was so much energy there…that it just pulsed through you.  I loved every stretch of this portion of the race.  And it is the part I remember the most.  I love a good crowd.

And with the extreme winds we were getting, it was a great way to start off the last stretch of the race.  This portion is pretty flat, save for just after the 20K mark.  So, it was nice to easily pick up the pace a little here.  Miles 8-12 really just have you fighting the windtunnels that are 42nd Street.  Here you make a U-Turn and head down the West Side Highway.  Wind.  Lots of wind.  Thankfully there was music blasting at various stages throughout this stretch of the run.  The crowds were sparse, but there were some spectators out there to cheer.  But without the bands, this might have been a tough slog through these 4 miles.  However, as the miles tick down, One World Trade Center/Freedom Tower keep getting closer and closer.  It’s gorgeous.  I can’t tell you how long I just kept my eyes on that building, minding each time I drew up my right leg, making sure I wasn’t overcompensating due to the hip pain.  This was…uplifting.

Mile 12 takes runners through the Battery Park Underpass.  This…was fun.  Seriously.  You are underground for a long while.  Runners scream and shout and let out whoops as they run through the dark, spooky tunnel. I loved it.  I even left my sunglasses on.  Just powered on through.  Running through tunnels is fun.  For some reason, I always smile more in them.  The 20K mark was just as we were let out to run up a hill.

Me coming out of the Battery Park Underpass at the 20K mark of the United Airlines NYC Half Marathon - New York, New York
Me coming out of the Battery Park Underpass at the 20K mark of the United Airlines NYC Half Marathon – New York, New York

This is where Cathy was situated to see me before I hit the finish line.  LOVED this little uplift right at the end.  I waived and smiled as she shouted, “YOU REALLY ARE ALMOST THERE!”  And so, I burst up the hill and got hit by one hell of a headwind.  NYC has this way of always being super windy when I run there.  So…I battled the headwind and just ran…ran…ran…rounding a corner…passing up a pace group….rounding another turn and seeing that finish line.  As I ran this race rather conservatively, I still had some go in the tank and so…I powered up, powered through, and crossed that finish line.

I stopped my Garmin…and the tears just started going.  I didn’t know my official time.  I didn’t check the Garmin.  I competed and finished my first half marathon since my hip labrum tear over a year ago.  And I could still move.  No limping.  Just a small ache.  I had done what I thought I wouldn’t be able to do…and it turns out I did it well.

We were filtered through the finisher’s area where we had medals hung around our necks and mylar sheets wrapped around us to keep us warm.  We were given these nice bags filled with snacks, Gatorade and water, and then shuttled out toward Battery Park.  At the exit, Cathy was waiting.  I hurried over and got a hug and she said, “YOU KILLED IT!!  Do you want to know your time?”  Of course I did.  She told me…and I started crying.  Not only was it better than I anticipated, it was better than I could have dreamed of doing, given the circumstances.

Our bodies find ways of surprising us.  And I think not having a specific goal or pace I wanted to hit helped.

So, the official results of the United Airlines NYC Half Marathon are that I finished in 1:43:53.  I was 3318/20,149 finishers overall.  I was 786/10,556 female finishers.  And I was 132/1706 finishers in my division.  I, honestly, couldn’t have run this any better.  Since the cold weather made me sore from just shivering at the start, I just took this race one step at a time…one mile at a time.  And I LOVED it.  I loved this race.  It was…probably….one of my favorite half marathons I have ever run.  Even in the cold…and the wind…and the suck…it was just…fun.  And I had fun running it.  It was a struggle at times…but I finished it and I felt good at the end.

Afterwards, we hopped the subway back to the hotel where I showered and changed.

Cathy, Me and Marisa after a great evening of celebration at Red Rooster Harlem.
Cathy, Me and Marisa after a great evening of celebration at Red Rooster Harlem.

Cathy and I went to Empire Coffee & Tea House where I got a Pumpkin Spice Latte (dairy free…made with almond milk…and YUMMY!).  Then we ended up hiking around NYC the rest of the day with Cathy and my friend Marisa, who I have known since high school.  We stopped in at bakeries (I bought 3 cookies from By The Way (BTW) Bakery) and a tea shop (where I had the Energitea…an amazing green blend).  We settled in for a bit at the hotel before getting ready to head to dinner at Red Rooster Harlem.  You might recall, Red Rooster is where I celebrated my NYC Marathon finish…so I wanted to go back for this.  And it was amazing.  Once again, the chef created a dish to fit my dietary needs…and I was SO impressed.  I even had dessert.  And fun.  We sat and talked over mint tea and listened to the live jazz music in the bar before calling it a night and making the trek back from Harlem to Midtown.  We said goodbye to Marisa and settled in for the night.

Overall…I’m already ready to come back to NYC…even if I don’t have a race.  There is always so much to see and do.  But…this time…for me…the highlight was getting through the United Airlines NYC Half Marathon…after having to defer it last year.  It was just the boost I needed.

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The Good Shepherd Run For The Gold 3K – Frankfort, KY (March 17, 2016)

Me at the start of The Good Shepherd Run For The Gold 3K – Frankfort, Kentucky
Me at the start of The Good Shepherd Run For The Gold 3K – Frankfort, Kentucky

Race: The Good Shepherd Run For The Gold 3K

Place: Frankfort, Kentucky

Date: March 17, 2016

Time: 13:09

It took too damn long to get back to Frankfort, Kentucky for an actual race.  It took way too long.  But…yesterday…despite my own skepticism about being able to do this race and do it well enough to make myself not feel totally out of shape and defeated…I ventured out to Frankfort for what used to be the first race of the Frankfort Trifecta.

The Frankfort Trifecta is no longer a thing.  It seems that the Frankfort Striders stepped in and created a HUGE race series that has something like 17 or so races…and I love Frankfort, but there is no way I can do all of that.  So, I’m sticking to my Trifecta races (all three are still running…just not as an overall series…which is nice because it takes a lot of pressure off of me…having placed the 2 years I competed in all three races) and just hoping for the best at this point.

All that being said, the madness began last night.  I was scheduled for 4 miles that day, so I ran 2.25 of them that morning, saving the remaining 1.8 and change for the race.  I kept the miles easy so I would have some gas in the tank at the end of the day.  BUT…it was also a gym morning so off I went, keeping my usual routine much lighter and easier.  Same reasoning.  And then…work.  I stood for half of the day at my standing desk because, starting on Wednesday after work, my left hamstring had been sore and tight…and I figured that it had a lot to do with how much and long I sat on Wednesday.  Trying to counter that, I did more standing than I normally would have on a sprint effort run day.

Oh…that’s the other thing…I…AM…NOT…A…SPRINTER.  I never have been.  I never will be.  I have short legs that can move, but they need time to warm up and find their strides.  5Ks and shorter races are the bane of my racing existence, and yet, I know the importance of doing them…and so I do.

But, I digress.

Where was I?  Oh yes…leg stuff.  My hamstring was still a bit unhappy when I ducked into the bathroom at work to get dressed for the race.  Cathy and I ducked out early to hit the road.  Dinner had to be on-the-go…so it was vegetarian sushi.  Figured it wouldn’t be too heavy before a race, but it wouldn’t have me feeling hungry just before doing it either.  So…yay for that.  We actually hit a few pockets of slow-ass traffic, which hindered our progress to Frankfort, but we got there.  I had to make my mandatory stop at Kroger to use the facilities (if I can avoid port-o-potties, I do…because…PRINCESS!), and then continued into Frankfort to get to the race.  We parked…noticed that the start line wasn’t set up where it usually was…but it was, instead, on the other side of the square.  Interesting.  So, I hiked that way…and realized that packet pickup was not in the building it normally was held in.  Now…with only 10 minutes to race time…I was starting to stress out.  IT WAS ALL DIFFERENT!

And then I found…my dear friend Linda.  She just suddenly was there…a sea of people having parted ways…her back to me…standing on the corner.  I went up behind her and tapped her on the shoulder.  She didn’t know I was coming and gave me the biggest smile and hug.  That helped.

A LOT.

I asked where packet pickup was now and she pointed to a table…then just went over there with me and got my race shirt, bag, and bib.  I handed everything off to Cathy, who began to pin me up while Linda and I talked for a moment.  But, you see, Linda knows EVERYONE!!  So, I got introduced to a bunch of people and got the very fair warning to not run over any kids during the race.  This is important, because this is THAT race where all the kids want to start up front and…well…some of them actually do belong up there, for sure.  Some…maybe not so much, but you gotta love the enthusiasm.  I promised her I would be very vigilant of the little humans.  I wasn’t familiar with the course being run this way, but Linda quickly gave me an overview before everyone started to line up.  There was a prayer and an Irish blessing (it DOES run on St. Patrick’s Day after all) and then we all moved forward and awaited the airhorn that would send us on our way.

It blew.

We took off.

Me after finishing The Good Shepherd Run For The Gold 3K – Frankfort, Kentucky
Me after finishing The Good Shepherd Run For The Gold 3K – Frankfort, Kentucky

My legs felt tired and heavy from the start.  The hamstring, much like in the morning, didn’t bother me while moving though, so that was good.  My hip wasn’t aching…but, I raced hard on Tuesday…did 4 miles on Wednesday, and was now racing hard(ish) again on Thursday.  Talk about giving these legs a bit of a workout this week.  And all of this ahead of another big adventure this weekend.  So…while I made a few surge attempts, the legs were sort of reluctant to get moving…even when I willed them to go a bit faster.

We turned a corner…turned again, stepping over a big hole, and took off up a hill…leading to the main drag that would take us up another (steeper) hill and then across a bridge and toward the state Capitol building.  Close to the turn around point, we hit Mile 1.  I didn’t look at my watch, I just kept going.  I rounded the turn to now run on the other side of the road and headed back the way we came…down the long stretch…up to the bridge…then D-O-W-N to the main drag.  At this point, you know you’re getting there.  You’re almost done.  It was basically straight on to the finish line.

I was slowing down, but I wasn’t having it.  Linda was just slightly ahead of me…and then another woman…and me.  I did all I could, minding my form, my hip, and my leg…to try to catch up, but it wasn’t having it.  Once again, I lack that finisher’s kick that other people have.  I even had people just up and sprint by me…as always.  Frustrating when your mind is willing, but your body just isn’t capable.  Between that and the strong wind that was blowing right into our faces…well…yeah.  It was one of those finishes.

But…I crossed…and it was awesome.  I felt good.  I felt…incredible.

Cathy came over, waving the race sign, and said, “Shit, Twin…you placed!”

All that being said…I grabbed some water and ducked into an alley to do my plyometric exercises and stretches that I’m supposed to do after a run.  See, I can behave.  Well, I did half of them and got bored, to be honest, so I can semi-behave.  We ducked back into the melee and I put my Boston Marathon windbreaker back on…because with the sun going down it was getting chilly.

Rebecca, Linda, and Me...all 1st place finishers in our age divisions at The Good Shepherd Run For The Gold 3K – Frankfort, Kentucky
Rebecca, Linda, and Me…all 1st place finishers in our age divisions at The Good Shepherd Run For The Gold 3K – Frankfort, Kentucky

Cathy was right…I ended up taking first in my age division…and…get this…TYING MY TIME from 2014, when I ran this race last.  I wasn’t expecting that.  I was very, very happy with that performance, considering I was really struggling after that first mile.  My Garmin said my first mile was in 7:01…so…I haven’t run that fast in…a very long time.  VERY long.  And when I do, I can’t sustain it.  So, YES!!  Happy.  SO freakin’ happy because this injury has had me struggling to do this running thing for over a year.  I’ll take a time of 13:09 and celebrate it!!  Embrace it!!

The awards ceremony followed…the only hitch being that someone was being shown as winning female overall that wasn’t the actual female overall winner.  So, they had to pause for a moment and go get it figured out.  I had been chatting with Debbie Brown about my physical therapy and amazing physical therapist when this began and she went to go get it all straightened out.  Because she’s Debbie.  And she’s awesome.

So, once that was straightened out…the awards commenced.  Overall winner was awarded to the correct, and super-fast, Roberta Meyer.  For the overall male winner…it was Aaron Schaffner.  It usually is.  LOL!!  He’s STUPID-FAST!!  As in…blink and you might miss him.  He was also in a Boston Marathon jacket…but I bet he ran his better than I ran mine.  HA!

The rest of the awards for female runners was next…and I took first in the 35-39 age division with my time of 13:09.  My overall pace was 7:04 for the entire 3K distance…so…that’s sort of impressive…for me…at this point in my running.  It was pointed out by the announcer that I was also wearing a Boston Marathon jacket.  Then he said, “Or is that New York.” Cathy said, “She has one of those too.”  LOL!

True story.

Anyway…I stayed and cheered for the other winners, took a picture with Rebecca Atkins (1st female 40-44) and Linda [Word] (1st female 45-49).  And then gave hugs and made my departure.  I might have flailed happily as I was walking away, because this was such a huge boost to my confidence…even though my legs and brain aren’t quite working in tandem yet.  They’ll get there.

I’ll get there.

Me with my age division award at the The Good Shepherd Run For The Gold 3K – Frankfort, Kentucky
Me with my age division award at the The Good Shepherd Run For The Gold 3K – Frankfort, Kentucky

So, the official results of The Good Shepherd Run For The Gold 3K are that I finished in 13:09.  I was 35/701 finishers overall.  I was 9/466 female finishers.  And I was 1/62 finishers in my division.  I take nothing for granted anymore.  Every run I am able to accomplish without pain or with minimal pain is a blessing.  Getting through this week of harder runs, and really pushing and challenging myself has not only terrified me, but empowered me.  I said it 2 years ago…and I’m going to say it again…Running is a gift, and I’m thankful I can do it again…even if it means slowing down for a little while to allow myself ample time to heal.

I’m looking forward (or so I am telling myself) to including a bit of speed work in my upcoming training…as well as continuing to focus on my hill repeats (because Frankfort hills are just…relentless!)…and, maybe I can finally figure out how to get that finishing kick.  Until then…relentless forward motion…

“Don’t fear moving slowly forward…fear standing still.”     ~ Kathleen Harris

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The Little Things…

It’s Sunday night, and I’m finally settling in…even though my drier has now stopped for the 4th time and my clothes still are sitting in there begging for me to fold them.  This is the busy, crazy, and rather hectic weekend I have had.  How I haven’t screamed into a pillow just for the sake of my sanity is beyond me.

Do not get me wrong…this really isn’t a bad thing.  But there were a few extra things going on this weekend…and it meant some things had to be put off and other things just, honestly, didn’t get done.  BUT…these things are minor in the grand scheme of things.  It’s just more of a stressor for me.

That being said…deep breaths…laundry can wait…a bit more…

Here are some highlights from this past week…

1.  Zootopia
tumblr_o37u8aUfhq1tb8alro1_r1_500OMG…THE CUTENESS!!  This movie was adorable.  And yes…I am so Officer Judy Hopps.  No doubt about it.  Except, minus the cute ears and twitchy nose.  I might have the fluff butt though.  HAHA!!  Anyway…went to the movie theater this morning and caught the first showing of Zootopia and LOVED it.  Totally loved it.  Disney does it again.  The sloth scene that is so famous…still funny…even though the trailer pretty much gave the entire scene to you.  LOVE IT.  I am so costuming as Officer Hopps for a Disney race in the future. THIS. IS. HAPPENING.

All that being said…when the hell did matinee movie prices skyrocket up to $9.00 for an adult??!!  Not loving that.

2.  THIS AMAZING BIRTHDAY CAKE!!
bb8cake
Okay…regular followers of my blog and Instagram know how much I love, respect, adore, and hype my local gluten-free (allergen-free) bakery, Annie May’s Sweet Café.  Well…there is a reason.  This place and I have had a relationship for the past 4 years of my life.  It all started in 2012, when my roommate and I found it in a big search for anywhere local that could make me a birthday cake (because I was told the birthday girl shouldn’t have to make her own cake).  Since then, you could say that we are regulars.  In fact…I might be in there twice a week (SOFT PRETZEL WEDNESDAY!) and for breakfast/brunch/lunch (depending on when we get there, HAHA) every Saturday that I’m in town.  I love the staff…I really love the food.  It’s amazing.

Well, my roommate (Cathy), her mom, her sister, and her niece all have birthdays within 5 days of each other…for real.  So, as we were having the big get-together celebration yesterday, it was cake time.  And cake I can eat is always appreciated. Well, I just so happened to have stumbled across a BB-8 cake on Facebook one night and I tagged Annie May’s in it.  They said they could make it…so we ordered one.  But we did it differently.  Instead of shaping the cake into a standing BB-8…we did a cake topper and set it on top of a delicious, amazing lemon cake.  OMG…it was awesome.  Ashley, the cake decorator there, did a fantastic job with the cake topper and icing.  And the lemon cake…OMG…so good!!  Moist…delicious…and it had the BEST DROID EVER on it.

Hey…foodie geeks are the best.  To the amazing bakers at Annie May’s…THANK YOU!!

3. Fuller House
fullerhouse
Okay…yes…I have decided to take the leap and watch the spin-off of the Late-80s-Mid-90s television show, Full House.  Why?  Because I grew up watching Full House and I really, really, really wanted to revisit the old stomping grounds.

You know what?  It’s cheesy…it’s overacted…but it is just as charming (if not more so) as the original.  And I love every moment of it.  I am about 5 episodes in and already wanting to watch more and more and just not stop.  Marathon time (of the non-running sort!) and I am one very happy girl!  Netflix and Chill!

4. Getting Myself Back on Track
miniontights
So, I am taking a few steps in the next couple of weeks to really get myself back on track.  Now that the pain has (for the most part…as there are always good days and bad days) subsided enough to allow me to get back out on the roads and run…I’m taking everything my physical therapist told me to heart.  I’m working on setting up a meeting with my sports nutritionist to get this diet (and my roomie’s too) back on track and in check.  I am going to attempt to either take Body Pump or find someone who can show me how to properly strength train so I am truly building muscle and not just lifting weights or using weight machines completely wrong.  I am finding joy in running again…and even dressing the part.  No…not like Joy in Pixar’s Inside Out, although that’s in the queue too…but I am no longer struggling through every run.  No…I’m not as fast as I was…but I figure once I get stronger, that will come.  That being said, I am running strong and I have been joining different groups of people for their runs.  This past Saturday, I did my 8-miler with my friend Dennis…and we did negative splits…which is AWESOME.  And today, I did an easy 4-miler with the Breakfast Club group.  Also, meeting all the new people out there that I have now that I’m back on the road…it has been uplifting and awesome…and I enjoy seeing and hearing all about their progress too.  We all have different goals, dreams, and reasons…and that’s what makes running special.

That and the Minion leggings I wore to the Breakfast Club run this morning! HA!!  Told you I was back!

So, yeah…I’ve had a week of good things and good stuff.  And I’ve put 12 miles on these legs the past 2 days and heave come out of it feeling confident with myself.  Every run just helps me get past that mental thing.

And having my friends not only tell me they are happy to have me back…but telling me I am totally capable of doing all the things I have discussed with them.  It helps…having that sort of a support system.  I love all of them for it.  Runner friends, baristas, bakers, family, and just friends.  Everyone.  All of you.

Thank you!

Do anything fun this weekend?  Eat anything amazing?  See a good movie?  Get inspired?

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The End of Physical Therapy…

12795160_984521021921_2703688938418183503_oA part of me almost tacked on the words “…for now” to my subject line, but I’m not going to look at this like that.

Today was my final session with my physical therapist, Katie, unless I need her in the future.  We’re now on an “as needed” basis, which is huge.  I’ve been tossed around to various physical therapy places…therapists…and types of therapy…all in the time span of a year.  And today…FINALLY…I have been officially…RELEASED!

My therapist put me on the treadmill again today (which is what she did during my first session with her) and filmed me running.  The differences are STAGGERING.  Angles, foot strike, the way I carry myself…it’s all normal now.  I no longer am babying the right leg/hip…I’m not treating it like my “Bambi” leg.  It’s strong…it’s getting powerful…and I’m finally running normally again.

THUS…eliminating (hopefully) the likelihood of another stress fracture or other issues brought on by imbalances.  I am…running well again.  I’m not where I was…I may not get back to there, but I’ve had a series of good runs lately.  No pain (which is HUGE)…and a little speedier than I thought was even possible.  I’m running hill repeats…regularly…and finally coming out of those okay.  I have two very different pairs of running shoes…to keep my feet strong.  And, for the first time in a very, very long time…I’m loving the way running feels.

This has been a very long road…and I’m going to do everything I can to keep this body strong, healthy, and happy.  This means I need to definitely give more attention to the things that my physical therapist insisted I focus on (and things that the book I am reading, Fit Not Healthy by Vanessa Alford have also touched on when it comes to pursuing running and running goals in a healthy way)…NUTRITION, STRENGTH TRAINING, CONFIDENCE, and SMART MILEAGE INCREASES!

All of which I intend to continue to strive to improve on.  I am not one to cut back on my calorie intake and my nutrition is pretty much on point, but there is always room for some improvement.  So, I am going to meet with my sports nutritionist in the near future and go over some goals and plans. My friend, Deana, has agreed to help teach me some strength training.  I’m a complete dolt when it comes to weights…I don’t think I challenge myself enough with them.  My mileage has been approved by Katie…so I know that I have that where I need it to be for now.  And, let’s face it, the confidence will come with every run that I can get through without pain.

So, I’m in a good place. And for the first time in a very long time, really anxious to get back out on the road and spend some time with all my runner friends, who I have missed SO MUCH this past year.

As for my goals…no time expectations or pace expectations.  I’m just happy to be back.  No pressure.  Just out there to enjoy each and every run.  I know they all won’t be good…and they don’t have to be.  But as long as there are more good than bad…then I’ll be right on track.

So…my journey begins again…

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Things happen in threes…

Don’t worry, this isn’t a post about something else going wrong with me.  Quite the opposite.  This is a post about how I am  finally feeling like myself again.  I am regaining confidence.  I’m working hard to regain any lost momentum and strength and fitness that I have lost over the past year of being unable to run.

This week started off with me still dealing with the aches and pains in my left quad (aka: the leg that doesn’t have the torn hip labrum) which just got me all worked up all over again.  I contacted Katie (my physical therapist) on Tuesday prior to running some hill repeats to get her thoughts on it.  I didn’t hear back from her before I went running, but she managed to work me in on Thursday afternoon to take a look at the quad.  We discussed cutting back on my mileage…just in case.

That being said, as I mentioned in a previous blog…it seems to just be a muscle strain, and it doesn’t bother me while I’m running.  Sometimes when I am warming up…and cooling down…but not during the actual act of running.  I purchased a (pink) lacrosse ball this weekend to help give some trigger point therapy to the spot and so far so good.

Despite all of that, I had a horrible treadmill run on Wednesday…rain.  LOTS of rain.  So, after that, I made it a point to get outside on Thursday for my 4 miles that morning.  It wasn’t easy…but it was SO much better than the treadmill.  And I don’t hurt like I do after running on a treadmill…so there is some helpful insight.

And so…with a bit of stress at work…a couple of good and bad running days…and lots of good food (that I cooked)…it was a pretty good week.  And with that being said…here are three things I’m loving this week:

1. Running With the Gang

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Me and Matthew after Tuesday Hill Repeats at Iroquois Park
So, there is this amazing group of fantastic runners that I used to go out and pound out some miles with…every Saturday.  They were my training group.  They pushed me, they made me better, they accepted me.  I trained with them through cold winters and hot summers.  They helped me through injuries and helped me with each comeback.  Well, with a year of being mostly unable to run, I wasn’t up to running with them.  My speed is lacking and I just don’t feel fit enough to keep up.  BUT…that being said, on Tuesday, I ran 6 miles of hill repeats with Matthew (who trained hard with me the summer I was working toward my first marathon)…and on Saturday, I ran 10 amazing miles with most of the group.  It felt awesome to be out there again, clicking off the miles.  At one point, we even joined up with the Anthem 5K, relatively close to the leaders of the race.  And as we ran through Mile 2 with them, we all commented on how this is what it felt like to be up front.  We left the course shortly after that to round off the mileage.  I can’t even begin to describe how good it felt to be out there with all of them again.  I had really missed it and them.  And Matthew has told me a few times that he and everyone else are so happy that I am back.  Over 10 very strong miles later…I feel like my comeback is officially a comeback.  Add on the 2 fantastic miles I added in this afternoon (it was SO windy, but it was too pretty not to go out and run…so I kept it short and easy)…and my confidence might slowly be building too.  I owe a lot of that to all the people who have continued to tell me to be careful, to do what is best for me, to not rush anything…and who have been waiting for me to come back to them. Arms open.  I’m back!


2. THIS BOOK!
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I am a bookworm.  And I love it when I’m walking through a bookstore or a library and a title or subject catches my eye.  That actually happened on Friday.  The book is Fit Not Healthy by Vanessa Alford, a true and personal account of the author’s downward spiral in an attempt to improve her performance in running, pushing her body harder and further, determined to be the best runner she can be.  Even though she was a physiotherapist, she soon becomes trapped in a spiral of extreme dieting and exercise in order to improve her performance and maintain her ‘fit and healthy’ look.  She ignored the growing concerns of friends and family, denying that there was anything unhealthy about her fitness training, until her body begins to rebel against her.  She was offered a commercial sponsorship and attracted the attentions of elite coaches, but striving to become faster and fitter, she fell into the trap of overexercising and calorie deprivation.  I have known and still know so many runners (and athletes) who do not fuel their body right…who take stupid risks with their helps because they are trying to fit into their idea of the “perfect” body, the “perfect” weight, the “perfect” athlete.  Denial is a demon that is hard to defeat.  This book has had me turning page after page.  The disordered thinking, eating, and exercising that Alford did is not only scary…but an eye opener.  My dearest friends…we are all beautiful works in progress.  DO NOT try to better yourself by taking risks with your body.  It will and does catch up to you!  Take care of your body…it’s the only place you have to live.

3. SHOPPING!!
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There really is something so therapeutic about shopping.  Retail therapy is real and it is life-changing.  This weekend, along with getting some upcoming birthday shopping done, my roommate and I both invested a little bit…in ourselves.  I purchased some reflective gear (capris and a matching top) for running, as well as a pair of Adidas Grete Shorts.  I usually am a running skirt girl, but I LOVE these shorts.  And I got them for $10 at the Outlet Shoppes of the Bluegrass.  I picked up shampoo bar and body wash from LUSH (LOVE LUSH!), and I picked up good eats at Annie May’s Sweet Café, Taziki’s Mediterranean Cafe, Rice, Cellar Door Chocolates, and of course, the food of my own making…including getting some batch cooking done for this week.  All my meals are prepped and ready.  And it didn’t take long at all.  NICE!  AND…I also have indulged in some delicious berries and peaches this weekend too.  LOVE my fruit for a snack.  And some of my favorites are close to being back in season!!

All-in-all…what a fantastic weekend.  And now…I’m working on some upcoming goals and plans…and feeling good.  I haven’t been able to say that in a long time.

How did you spend your weekend?  Do anything fun?  Eat anything delicious?  Read anything amazing?  Tell me all about it!

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A Half Dozen after a Half Distance

My physical therapist has been telling me that getting past my fear and my anxiety about running and adding mileage was all mental.  I knew she was right, but somehow, every time I would lace up to go running, short or long, I would just get this feeling in the pit of my stomach.  I was no longer comfortable with it. Especially the longer distances (which were always my favorite).

Last week, I managed 10 miles without any pain or issues.  This week, it was to be 12…but at a bit of encouragement from my physical therapist and my roommate, I bumped it up to a 13.1 distance.  Half marathon.  No time goals or pace goals.  Just go the distance.

And I did.  I won’t say it was pretty and that I felt great at the end…but I felt better.  I mentally and physically feel better for having done the distance. And, in the end, that’s all that really matters!

So, in honor of that…here is half a dozen things that made me smile this week…

1. Spreading a Little Sunshine

 

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Lemon Blossoms!!!

When bad things happen to good people, I like to find ways to lift spirits and at least spread a little happiness or, as I like to say, sunshine.  And the best way I know how to do that is by baking or cooking.  Well, my downstairs neighbors are going through a bit of a rough patch, and it’s hard to find reasons to smile sometimes.  This past Saturday evening, I baked up a batch of Lemon Blossoms (gluten & dairy free) for them.  I delivered them this morning.  And soon afterwards, I got a text message from Michelle saying that her son insisted on having a picnic in bed of Lemon Blossoms with daddy.  THAT…made my heart melt for sure.  It’s the little things that make big things happen.  Good things are coming for them.  I feel it.

2. BB-8

 

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Sphero BB-8 Toy
After months and months and months of coveting the thing, I finally broke down Saturday and purchased the Sphero BB-8 toy.  Why?  Because I wanted it.  I didn’t need it…but I wanted it.  We all know, I am probably one of the biggest BB-8 fangirls out there.  And, let me tell you, this little guy is a blast to roll around.  It is driven by an app on my phone, and it is adorable.  It even reacts to voice commands.  Seriously, one of the best, random, unnecessary purchase I have ever made.  He’s coming to work with me tomorrow.

3. Reliving my Childhood with Rainbow Brite

 

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Starlite, Rainbow Brite, and Twink Toys from Hallmark
Growing up, one of my favorite cartoons, toys, and things in life (hey…I was like 5) was Rainbow Brite.  For those of you who may not be as familiar with Rainbow Brite, she was the main protagonist of an animated series, where she was sent to a bleak and gloomy world to bring color and beauty to it.  Her mission was to make our world brighter and our hearts lighter by bringing color to all the corners of the universe.  She is aided in her adventures in Rainbow Land by her faithful companions, Starlite and Twink.  Her greatest

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Me in my “Rainbow Brite” shirt

strengths are compassion and bravery.  I had a favorite shirt as a kid that I called my “Rainbow Brite” shirt…and prior to this past Saturday, owned a Rainbow Brite snuggie (thanks Dad!), a Starlite pillow pet (thanks Cathy!), the movie Rainbow Brite and the Star Stealers (thanks Cathy!), have costumed as Rainbow Brite, and have just always tried to bring happiness to people (see #1 above…about sunshine and lemon blossoms).  So this past Saturday, while going past a Hallmark Store, I spotted a Rainbow Brite doll in the window.  Upon going inside…there was also Starlite (that’s the horse, BTW) and Twink dolls too.  And I bought them.  I couldn’t help it.  That’s my childhood. That’s me.  I aspire, still, to be Rainbow Brite.  Sometimes, it is the little things in life.

4. Another Pair of Running Shoes

 

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Nike Free RN Distance
So, as stoked as I was about the Nike Pegasus Air Zoom 32’s that I purchased last weekend.  But after 3 runs in them, I discovered a couple of things.  The first was that the toe box was too narrow.  I now am the proud owner of a black toenail.  Just after I got normal toes back after a year off from running.  HA!  Secondly, they felt heavy on my feet. My usual running shoes (the Newton Distance series) are abound 6.1 ounces.  The Nike Pegasus shoes were 8 ounces.  I didn’t think it would make a huge difference…but it did.  So, I returned them to Fleet Feet, and opted to exchange them rather than shop for a cute running skirt or get a refund. I explained what the issues were, and the sales girl returned with 2 different Nike shoes.  After testing them out at the store, I opted for the Nike Free RN Distance, which are 6.6 ounces, so closer to what I’m used to on my feet.  They are also soft to run on thanks to Lunaron cushioning, which fuses soft foam and lightweight Phylon carrior to deliver an excellent blend of plush comfort and durable support.  Great for distances.  These felt happy on my feet.  So I will test them out this week and either take them back or keep them.  We’ll see.

5. Foam Rolling

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Nightly companions – Foam Roller and The Stick
All runners have a love/hate relationship with their foam rollers.  I love mine.  It’s one of those “hurts so good” devices.  I have started rolling again…every night.  And it’s amazing.  I mean…yeah…it doesn’t necessarily feel good, but it does.  And I feel better after that.  So, after my BOSU ball routine for my physical therapy stuff…out comes the foam roller.  For 20-30 minutes, I work on those tired and sore muscles…and afterwards, I feel a little better.  So, I’m actually happy to have this back in my routine!

6. Accidentally Twinning

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Kelsie and Me – decked out in our purple & orange!
One great thing that has come from these runs I have been doing on weekends is the people I get to run with.  And one of them happens to be my good friend, Kelsie.  I met Kelsie via my blog and we’ve become very good friends.  This past Saturday, we accidentally dressed in the same color scheme.  So, that was awesome.  She and I will be doing our long run this weekend together as neither of us are participating in the Anthem 5K.  So, I am seriously looking forward to that.  We’re going to keep a nice easy pace and rock out the mileage together.  I’m excited.  Been way too long since Kelsie and I got nice run in together.  Wonder if we’ll accidentally color coordinate again.  HA!

And there it is, my friends…half a dozen things in honor of the half distance.  I’ve been recovering today…with shopping (yep…more…because I bought a pretty dress!), and baking and cooking…and now I’m watching Tangled, which is part of my Disney Animated Movies In Order viewing-fest.

What did you guys do this weekend?

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Top 10

Another weekend has come and gone, and what a weekend it was.  This week, I had a fantastic meeting with my physical therapist.  She had me working so much more on strength and balance.  Afterwards, she did a strength test on me and discovered that my legs and hips are FINALLY equal in strength.  That took awhile.  And, with 6 days that day to the day the injury began to really bother me…she was very excited about my first upcoming double-digit run on Saturday.  10 miles was the goal…and I was both terrified and excited about it.

And then…my other hip/quad started to act up.  It felt like a muscle strain, but it was enough that got me worried about Saturday morning.  So, on Friday, I contacted Katie (my amazing physical therapist) and we went back and forth as to where the pain was, how it felt, and what I should do.  In the end, she told me to stretch, foam roll, and give the run a shot.  If I didn’t hit 10…then to try again the following week.

On Saturday morning, in air temps that felt like 1°F…I struck out on my run…on a steep hilly course…and got through it. Pain free.  No limping.  No pain.  Nothing.  It made me feel confident and amazing and strong…all at the same time.  And relieved.  This is an ongoing battle, for sure…but I needed that run.  More than I even knew until I was done.

Anyway…here is a list of 10 fantastic and wonderful things for this week…just because sometimes you find blessings…

1. A short, but amazing visit from my sister and nephew

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Me, Chace, and Karla

Side-by-side or miles apart, we are sisters connected by the heart.  Seriously, my sister and I have always been close.  We have seen and done so much together.  We have been with each other through thick and thin.  Our bond is amazingly strong.  When we get together…watch out.  Insanity ensues.  She wanted to come and visit and chose Valentine’s Day weekend to do so.  And we had an absolute blast.  Added bonus…she brought one of her boys with her…Chace (age 6).  And we had SO much fun.  We braved the cold air and the snow…which Chace loved…we ate good food…we shopped…we played video games…we attempted to play Chinese jumprope, we laughed, snorted, and curled up together to watch a movie. Chace and I baked a special cake.  Chace told me that he loved me.  Do you know how much that made me want to cry (in the good, happy way)?  These are the moments I live for…and miss out on…because I live away from the rest of the family.  I hated it when they had to leave.  I cried a little this afternoon.  But, she’s already planning another trip…and bringing Landon (age 9) this time.  I love my sister.  And next time, the weather should be better so she and I can finally get that run in together.


2.  BOSU
20160214_184414[1]I am now the proud owner of a BOSU.  I have wanted one for a long time now, but when this became part of my physical therapy, not having to go to the gym to do it became a bit of a priority.  The BOSU Balance Trainer is an exercise tool that targets multiple areas of fitness like endurance, strength, balance, and stability.  The squishy dome side on top offers a bouncy surface for everything from cardio to strength training.  Flip it over…and you work your on your core, lower body , and flexibility.  Due to lots of amazing Dicks coupons and a gift card…I didn’t pay anything out of pocket for this.  I love it. It’s pink…not blue like they normally are (because…princess).  And now I can work on the strength and balance exercises that Katie (the PT) gave me to work on…in the comfort of my own home.  SO happy!


3.  Feeling like one of the group again

IMG_20160213_103112[1]As I mentioned, this Saturday I was set to run 10 miles.  I had originally made plans to do this early to have a bit more time with my sister and nephew…but those plans didn’t pan out.  Probably for the best, with how cold it was.  All that being said, I got up and went out to run with the training group, and ended up striking out for the first 3.5 miles with people from my old running group.  It felt so good to be back out with them.  They ended up not tackling the heavy hill climb at Iroquois, but since I skipped hill day due to weather, I decided I needed to climb, even though my PT said to try to stick to flat roads.  Seeing them, running with them, talking to them…it all just lifted my spirits.  I hadn’t felt that good in a long time.  I knew I missed it…but I really miss them.


4. New Running Shoes
IMG_20160214_185110[1]Sometimes something as simple as a new pair of shoes can make the world feel better.  Everyone knows that I love running in Newtons…but…I also love me some bright colors on my feet.  And the new version of my Newton running shoes are…silver.  Life’s too short to be stuck with boring running shoes.  And, as I was in need of new shoes, I went out to fleet feet and went to see Jackson (it was his last day there)…and tried on the shoes I originally went in for…the Adidas Pure Boost X (the ones that were made by women for women).  They were…not what I expected.  Very different.  And, while they felt good, I was a bit worried about lack of support on the arch of my foot.  So, Jackson went to work.  After I said no to the Adidas Energy Boosts (too much shoe)…he brought out a few more to try.  After I gave the Asics Gel Cumulus a try (liked them), and then the Brooks Women’s Launch 3 (loved them), and then the Nike Pegasus Air Zoom 32 (really loved them)…I did something I didn’t expect.  I went back to a Nike shoe.  Of course, I still have to really road test them, but they felt really good in store.  I have heard only good things about the Pegasus…so here’s hoping!  THANKS, JACKSON!


5. My nephew’s reaction to the snow this morning

I’ll just let the video speak for itself…

He wanted to see snow…he got his wish.  He was so excited.  And so cold.  Love this boy!


6. Being treated to a cake by Chace
20160213_183443[1]Chace is like his Auntie KJ…he loves to cook and bake.  And this weekend, he brought the chef hat and apron I got him for Christmas and go to work baking a cake for dessert and to take home to his dad, brother, and sister.  It was a gluten-free funfetti cake (sprinkles rule!) with a strawberry frosting and decorated with some red sprinkles for the Valentines Day holiday.  He’s an amazing little boy in the kitchen, and he’s got quite a future as the chef he talks about becoming.  The cake…for the record…was super-moist…and super-yum!  Afterwards, we all snuggled on the couch and watched Pixar’s Ratatouille.


7. Morning smiles on an early, cold, running day

12742614_533123900192145_892004465850865809_nI have met some of the best people through running.  After taking an entire (basically) year off due to this nagging injury, it feels good to be out and running (even if it is slower than I would like) with people.  Sometimes, I end up alone and on my own.  But I always start with a group.  And in these groups, there are people who just make you feel welcome.  That’s how Melissa made me feel on Saturday, when I was standing around, arms crossed, just dreading going out in the cold.  She pulls me into a picture…and everything just felt better that morning.  Sometimes it is the smallest gesture that makes all the difference.  Thanks, Melissa!!


8. Gluten-Free and Vegan Cookie Dough
IMG_20160214_163826[1]My local allergen-free bakery…Annie May’s Sweet Cafe…sold out, but reserved a cup of their cookie dough for me…because Valentine’s Day isn’t much fun when you’re single…so a big cup of cookie dough is a good meal choice, yes?  The hardest decision after getting it out of the fridge today was to have it with red or white.  HA!  I love my bakery!!


9. Funny Faces
20160213_171006[1]Sometimes you just have to be goofy…in a nice restaurant…with your nephew who requested to sit by you.  Because life only happens once.  Just be goofy!  I love him!


10. Chocolate!!
forget-love-id-rather-fall-in-chocolate-80Forget Valentines Day.  Just give me chocolate.  Dark chocolate, especially.  I’ll love you for life.  And, trust me, I ate plenty of chocolate this weekend.  Because I love enjoying the sweeter things in life with the sweetest people in my life.  And we are a family of chocoholics.  It’s a lifestyle.

~*~*~

Heading into a new week…here’s hoping this upward trend in my recovery continues.  Here’s hoping that the winter weather goes away for good. Here’s hoping for many more good days over bad.

Have a great week, friends!

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I am not afraid to be afraid…

determinedInjuries suck!  I don’t have to tell anyone that.  Not only do they keep you from doing what you love to do, but sometimes…they just refuse to go away.

Five days from now will mark an entire year since the initial problem I was having with my hip.  I know this, because I log what I do every day, and I went back through last year’s runner’s journal and discovered my last run was on February 17…I complained that it hurt to get back into my boots (I was at the gym on the treadmill due to weather)…and on the way home, it hurt like a mother just moving my foot from the accelerator to the brake pedal.

I guess I never mentioned that, because last year was rough…and there wasn’t much that I felt like blogging about.  Now I wish I had…because I’ve kept a lot of anger, sadness and pain to myself, whereas this could have been a journey.

All that being said…here I sit…almost an entire year later and my hip still flairs up.  I can’t do my hill repeat nights without being in pain the next day.  Running on the treadmill at the gym sucks.  It is painful (more than running outside, believe it or not) and boring.  I don’t know how people log miles on a treadmill.  I can’t focus on anything but those numbers…and how slow each freakin’ second is ticking away.

All that being said…there are days I wish I had one…because being outside sucks…and being at the gym sucks.  At least at home I could put in a movie or watch a show and maybe it wouldn’t suck as hard.

I’ve been back in physical therapy for a couple of months now.  For awhile, it was twice a week.  Then once a week.  I had an initial running analysis done by my therapist, Katie (who is awesome…and a running specialist and runner herself), by having her film me at different angles on the treadmill and going through each frame…showing me exactly why my leg ended up fractured last year when I first came back.  You see…my hip hurts, sometimes to the point that it makes me limp…sometimes to the point that standing up is a problem.  It changes from day to day.  Sometimes, I am pain-free.  There is no rhyme or reason to how these days pan out or what kind of a day it will be (except for post-hill repeats…that night and the next day will always suck).  In the initial analysis, she showed me how I was not trusting my right leg because of the hip.  It is my “Bambi leg.”  While it took about 3 seconds to push off with my left foot, when my right foot came down…a second, if that.  I was limping while running, and didn’t even realize it.  Strength in my right leg…next to nothing.  My body was so imbalanced…it was crazy.  So, the primary focus was strengthening…and then…very slowly…ease back into putting some mileage in on these legs.

And that’s what I’ve been doing these last couple months.  Physical therapy, strengthening, then…running.  I’m not focused on speed or time right now.  It’s all about getting that mileage in…rebuilding that endurance.  It’s hard to tame the speed demon though.  Muscle memory and all…I put on those running shoes and I just want to fly.

I just can’t.  Usually around Mile 4-6 on a long-ish run, the hip will seize up or begin to hurt.  And then I’ll hurt for the rest of the day…if not too bad, I do the plyometric exercises that Katie assigned me.  If it’s bad…I skip them and opt for some rest.  This journey has been long, tedious, tiresome, and I’m still on it.  And I think that’s the most difficult thing for me.

When this all happened, I figured I’d be better…because everyone I know who has had a torn hip labrum has gotten a shot, had surgery, and just…gone back to what they were doing.  But my Cortisone shot didn’t work…and surgery…not an option…and the whole thing is just this really rocky road that I keep stumbling around on, catching my footing, and then stumbling again.  I am a big ball of emotions…anger, frustration, hope, sadness, pain, fear, redemption, courage…it’s all there.

I’m not better…but I am on the road to being better.  I don’t know if I will ever not have some sort of pain.  I admit, I panic anytime something else flairs up…and with this cold weather, you better believe I’ve had some moments.

The long of the short of it is…I’m not where I used to be, I may not ever be where I used to be.  But I am doing the best I can with what I’ve got.

On Wednesday, I saw Katie again and she reassessed my strength, finding that my right and left legs have equaled out.  Got that strength imbalance fixed.  In fact, the hip flexors and adductors are actually stronger than the outer muscles now.  Go figure.  With all that being said, and with my mileage continuing a slow climb…Katie will see me one more time at the end of the month.  After that…it will be on an “as needed” schedule.

It freaks me out…because a part of me likes having these sessions because I feel better coming out of them.  I feel more confident. But I also know…I can’t always have someone there holding my hand.  I have to do this on my own.  I have to once again find that strength, that courage, and that will…and I have to let go…of doubt, fear, and negativity.

It won’t be easy.  It never is.  But I know me…I’m determined.  Very few of my runs may ever be fast.  Very few may ever be pain-free.  I’ll take the good runs…and I’ll use the bad runs to focus on getting stronger…

But, yes…it is time to let go…it’s time to hit that pavement again…perhaps a little scared…perhaps a little doubtful…but stronger…and better.

…just not faster.  At least…not yet.

Face your fears…and you won’t fear them anymore.  You’ll learn from them.

Every run…every day…is a learning experience for me.